The Illinois Enema Bandit [YCDTOSA 6]

Crazed Fan: Yeah! Zappa, Zappa!
FZ: What? I'm supposed to kiss her? Okay. Just calm down there for a minute. It’s only Halloween .
Crazed Fan: Zappa! Yeah!
FZ: Alright
Crazed Fan: Play the guitar! Play the guitar!
FZ: No, thank you. Alright, let's get back to entertainment here. Are we tuned up?
Crazed Fan: Yeah! We never left! We never left!
FZ: 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 .

The Illinois Enema Bandit
I heard he's on the loose
I heard he’s on the loose
Lord, the pitiful screams
Of all them college-educated women .
He'd just be tyin' 'em up
(They'd be all bound down!)
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of ’em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin’ every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin’ every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice

The Illinois Enema Bandit
I heard it on the news
I heard it on the news
Bloomington Illinois . . . he has caused some alarm
Just sneakin' around there
From farm to farm
He's got a rubberized bag
And a hose on his arm
Just lookin’ for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump

The Illinois Enema Bandit
One day he'll have to pay
One day he'll have to pay
The police will say, "You're under arrest!"
And then the judge would have him for a special guest
The D.A. will order a secret test
Stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest
Then they'll put out a call (Hi-Yo!) for the jury folks
And the judge would say, "No Silver jokes!"
They'll drag in the bandit for all to see
Sayin' "Don't nobody put that little black mask all over me . . . (Hi-Yo!)
HOT SOAPY WATER in the FIRST DEGREE!"
And then Tonto might say, "Don't put that Veg-O-Matic at me!"

DID YOU CAUSE THIS BROCCOLI?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS BROCCOLI?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS KINDA BROCCOLI?
One girl shout: "Well, bring that small appliance right here near to me!"

BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY?
TELL ME, WHAT'S YOUR PLEA?
Another satisfied home maker shout: "Well, let that Veg-O-Matic be!"

BANDIT, ARE YOU GUILTY? TELL ME, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS?
You know what he said?
(Isn't that amazing!)
"It must be just what they all need . . . " (yeah!)
"It must be just what they all need . . . "
"It must be just what they all needs. . . "
"It must be just what they all need . . . "

He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
"It must be just what they all need . . . "
Well, he just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
"It must be just what they all need . . . "
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
"It must be just what they all need . . . "
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
"It must be just what they all need . . . "
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice

The Illinois .
Illinois .
Ain't talkin' 'bout Fontana .
Ain't talkin' 'bout Potato Headed Bobby
Talkin' 'bout the Illinois .
Illinois . . . Enema Bandit . . . Juice

FZ: I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine. This is L. Shankar on violin