The Gnu Song

A year ago, last Thursday, I was strolling in the zoo when I met a man who thought he knew the lot
He was laying down the law about the habits of baboons
And the number of quills a porcupine has got
So I asked him, "What's that creature there?"
He answered, "It's a h-elk."
I might have gone on thinking that was true
If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame
And remarked: "I hain't a h-elk! I'm a g-nu!

I'm a g-nu, I'm a g-nu
The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo
I'm a g-nu, how d'you do?
You really ought to k-now W-ho's W-ho!
I'm a g-nu, spelled G-N-U
I'm g-not a camel or a kangaroo
So let me introduce
I'm g-neither man or moose
Oh g-no g-no g-no, I'm a g-nu!"

I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-Sea
Whence I travelled on to Ashton-under-Lyne
And the second night I stayed there, I was wakened from a dream
Which I'll tell you all about... some other time
Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my head
Stuffed and mounted, was a face I thought I knew

[Spoken]
A bison? No, it's not a bison
An okapi? I don't think it's an okapi
Could it be, uh, a hartebeest?

[Singing]
When I seemed to hear a voice

"I'm a g-nu
I'm a g-nu! a g-nother g-nu
I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you
I'm a g-nu, how d'you do?
You really ought to k-now W-ho's W-ho!
I'm a g-nu, spelled G-N-U
Call me bison or okapi and I'll sue
G-nor am I in the least like that dreadful hartebeest
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a g-nu
G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a g-nu!
G-no, g-no, g-no
I'm a g-nu!"