The Fox (Think Ethnic! version)

[Guitar Solo]

[Intro: Tom Smothers]
That's the sound of the next song. This is one of the ethnic, purist folk songs, what is referred to as a folk singer standard. My brother, little Dickie Smothers, will step into the — s-spotlight in front of the microphone and in his inimitable, ethnic charming manner, relate this story as of years of yore, as folk singers and balladeers and troubadours whence told their stories in yon times of — yore

When he steps up into the spotlight and starts to tell the story, this is a story folk song, try to picture him as an early American balladeer and folk singer as hе traveled across the country on his horsе with his bass strung over his back. Picture that, heh heh

I know you'll recognize this song right away because it's was referred to as a folk singer standard. It's entitled — probably heard this many times before— It's entitled — THE FOXES! Heh heh heh heh. Heh. heh. Maybe — some of you don't — remember that one

[Verse 1: Dick Smothers]
Oh
Well
The
Fox went out on a chase one night
Bayed to the moon to give him light
He had many a mile to go that night
Before he reached the town-o, town-o, town-o
Many a mile to go that night
Before he reached the town-o

[Verse 2: Dick Smothers]
He ran 'til he came to a great big pen
Ducks and the geese were kept therein
He said "a couple of you gonna grease my chin
Before I leave this town-o, town-o, town-o
Couple of you gonna grease my chin
Before I leave this town-o

[Verse 3: Dick Smothers, Tom Smothers]
He grabbed the gray goose by the neck
And threw the duck across his back
He didn't mind the "quack quack quack"
With the legs all dangling down-o, down-o, down-o ((shouted)QUACK QUACK QUACK)
He didn't mind the—((shouted)QUACK QUACK QUACK>)

[SKIT: Dick Smothers, Tom Smothers]
Hey, what are you doing?
He didn't mind the QUACK QUACK QUACK
Tommy, what are you doing?
He stole the geese and then uh, QUACK QUACK QUACK
Tommy, I don't need quacks! Just be quiet, I mean, you're not supposed to quack—
You never — you never offered to let me sing
This is my song, why should I let you sing?
I just was quackin' because the, the fox stole the ducks and geese there, and—
Alright I'll tell you what: If you want to sing, go on and sing, but don't quack
I just was—
Alright?
I'm just trying to have a l—
That's enough now

[Verse 4: Dick Smothers, Tom Smothersboth]
Old grandma, she jumped out of bed
Out to the window she stuck her head
She cried "John, John, the gray goose is gone"
The fox is on the town-o, town-o, town-o
She cried "John, John, the gray goose is gone"
The fox is on the town-o (Sure a lot of fun singin', hmm hmm)

[Verse 5: Dick Smothers, Tom Smothers]
Fox he went to his own den (QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK)
There were— eight nine ten cryin'—
There goes the—
Daddy better go pack again
QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK
It must be a mighty fine — town-o
Tow—THERE GOES THE—

[SKIT: Dick Smothers, Tom Smothers]
ALRIGHT, JUST SHUT UP
THERE GOES THE FOX STEALING THE DUCKS AND GEESES, QUACK QUACK QUACK
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, JUST BE QUIET
YOU-YOU- YOU SEE THE DUCK?
SHUT UP
Think he's a—
SHUT UP
I let you sing but no, that's not enough for you have to go quack, quack, quack
Well, I
I don't want to see your mouth open — for anything except singing. For cooperation, do you understand that?
Listen, I—
DO YOU?
I was tryin' to add—
JUST SHUT UP
Add a little—
NO. NO COLOR. I DON'T WANT ANY COLOR OR SOUND EFFECTS
Just—

[Verse 5: Dick Smothers, Tom Smothers]
Fox he went to his own den
There were the the little ones, eight nine ten crying
Daddy better go (quack) back again
It must be a mighty fine — town-o, (quack quack) town-o, town-o (mmm mmm)
Daddy better go back again (Quack Quack Quack Quack, Heh heh heh)
It must be a mighty fine town-o
QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK

[SKIT: Dick Smothers, Tom Smothers]
Hold it—
HEH. WHOO! [?]
That is enough. That is just enough

You really think that's funny, don't you? "Quack, quack, quack." Just clever. Takes a lot of brains to go "quack, quack, quack" in a song about a fox
Mmm hmm.— Thank you
Yeah, you're really proud, aren't you?
Y— Thank you very much
You're proud of yourself
I was quacking, I was showing how — the du— the fox was [?]
I hope you're really proud. You know what you've done?
What?
You've ruined the song, you've ruined the show, you've made yourself a stupid fool, you've embarrassed me thoroughly, and you've proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that you're fully, thoroughly incapable of ever doing anything rational
[?]
All your life you've never done anything right. You never will. Because you can't. You've tried to do things wrong—
Come on, now
It just shows in your warped personality. I'm just ashamed to call you my brother—
Sssh
Because you just never, never in your entire life have done anything good and worthwhile
Sssh. sssh
You never will do anything worthwhile because you can't
Ssh. Ssh
Don't shush me, Tom Smothers. Don't shush me, just stand there and take it. Try to be a man once in your life. No, you need — you're just so bad, so rotten through and through. You were—
God knows I'm sorry
Name dropper!
I tell you, I'm through, I've had it. You wanted to quack, start quacking. I'll stand in the back and wait 'til you're through
Oh no, dick, I—
Start quacking, Tom
I don't wanna
I SAID QUACK!
I— I don't wanna
Listen here. You asked to quack, so you start quackin' right now. I don't want to have anything out of you
[?]
You keep quacking. Start! Start quacking right now! Quack! Go ahead, start!
Quack quack quack
That's right, keep it up
Quack quack quack quack
Keep it up
Quack quack quack
Well when you're through, let me know
Quack quack quack
Quack quack quack quack
Quack quack quack
[?]
Quack quack quack
Quack quack quack
Quack quack quack quack quack quack
[?]
Quack quack quack
Heh heh, heh heh, heh
Quack quack quack quack Heh, heh
Hey Dickie, I kinda like it. Heh heh heh
Quack quack quack quack Hm, hm, hm
I— I'm uh, almost finished
All right. You've had it

[Verse 6: Dick Smothers, Tom Smothers, both]
Fox is back and [?] (QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK)
They never had such a supper in their life
And the little ones chewed on the bones-o bones-o, bones-o
They never had such a supper in their life
And the little ones chewed on the bones-o