I Never Will Marry

[Intro: Dick Smothers]
We'd like to do another ballad now and this — is about a young man who lost his girlfriend, his sweetheart in a ra- rather classic manner because she left on the midnight train, and — he was left standing on the platform, watching the train go, and he was — this was the first big heartbreak in this young man's life and he was trying to think back to whoever told him that love was supposed to be a gentle thing and, he was also thinking that at the same time that he probably never will marry

[Verse: Dick Smothers]
Some say that love is a gentle thing
But it only has caused me pain
For the only girl I ever did love
Got on that midnight train

[Chorus: Tom and Dick Smothers]
I never will marry
I'll take me no wife
I expect to live single, ooh-ooh
All of my life

[Verse: Dick Smothers, Tom Smothers and both]
The train pulled out and the whistle blew
With a low and a lonesome moan
She's gone, she's gone, like the mid- (mid-) night dew-ooh
Left me all alone

[Break: Dick Smothers, sung, and Tom Smothers, spoken]
Ah, ah ah, ah ooh
When I was very young
Mm, mm, mm mm
There was a little girl that lived down the street from me and we always used to say that when we grew up, we would be married
Mm mm mm mm mm mm
It was sort of a childish thing, a puppy love
Yet as years went by, this puppy love grew to be something very dear and precious to me
Mm ooh
We say that love is a gentle thing
Mm, mm, mm mm
But love only brought me unhappiness and heartache as this girl left out of my life
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm
Yeah, I could never — stop loving her. Sometimes I can see her in my — mind, her smiling eyes and shining face
Mm mm mm mm mm mm
And I know I never will marry unless I can marry this girl whom I love so very dearly
Mm mm mmm
I just — never will marry
Well, I'll- I'll mess around a little bit, though, heh, but uh—

[Outro: Dick Smothers, and both Dick and Tom Smothers]
I expect to live single, ooh-oooh
All of my life