My Old Man

My old man’s a sailor
What do you think about that?
He wears a sailor’s collar
He wears a sailor’s hat
He wears a sailor’s raincoat
He wears a sailor’s shoes
And every Saturday evening
He reads the Sunday News
And someday, if I can
I’m gonna be a sailor just like my old man

My old man’s a anthropologist
What do you think about that?
He wears an anthropologist’s collar
He wears an anthropologist’s hat
He wears an anthropologist’s raincoat
He wears an anthropologist’s shoes
And every Saturday evening
He reads the Sunday News
And someday, if I can
I’m gonna be an anthropologist just like my old man

My old man’s a Refrigerator Repairman
What do you think about that?
He wears a Refrigerator Repairman’s collar
He wears a Refrigerator Repairman’s hat
He wears a Refrigerator Repairman’s raincoat
He wears a Refrigerator Repairman’s shoes
And every Saturday evening
He reads the - Playboy
And someday, if I can
I’m gonna be a Refrigerator Repairman just like my old man

(Spoken)
Tommy: What do you think about that? Boy you gotta be pretty sharp witted, slippery tongued to say things like that
Dick: I tell you Tommy, you’re very glib
Tommy: I certainly do
Dick: Well here, I’ll tell you what my old man does

My old man’s a Cotton Pickin’ Finger Lickin’ Chicken Plucker
What do you think about that?
(Tommy: You better not make a mistake
Dick: Let’s hope not)
He wears a Cotton Pickin’ Finger Lickin’ Chicken Plucker’s collar
He wears a Cotton Pickin’ Finger Lickin’ Chicken Plucker’s hat
He wears a Cotton Pickin’ Finger Lickin’ Chicken Plucker’s raincoat
He wears a Cotton Pickin’ Finger Lickin’ Chicken Plucker’s shoes
And –
(Tommy: You’re lucky)
- every Saturday evening
He reads the Cotton Pickin’ News
And someday, if I can
I’m gonna be a Cotton Pickin’ Finger Lickin’ Chicken Plucker
Just like my old man