The Fat Lady Sings

[Intro (Spoken words)]
Ah yeah, life
It's brilliant, even when you have your ups and downs
Hopefully they'll mostly be ups
But enjoy it and remember
Life ain't over till the fat lady sings

[Verse 1]
Sunny day's buildin', a win on the gee-gees
Larry Gogan playin' hits by the Bee Gees
Standing in Croker when Dublin wins
Life ain't over till the fat lady sings

[Verse 2]
Calling in sick, connin' the foreman
Pullin' up at a nightclub and abusin' the doorman
One flavoured Pot Noodle when the mircrowave dings
Life ain't over till the fat lady sings
Till the fat lady sings

[Verse 3]
Hailing a taxi then doin' a legger
Doctor Aidan Nulty when he's doing the weather
Gettin' a job at the council and not doing a thing
Life ain't over till the fat lady sings

[Verse 4]
Havin' a lie in till four in the evening
Finding a flat road and makin' it uneven
That's being a builder and pullin' some strings
Life ain't over till the fat lady sings
Till the fat lady sings

[Verse 5]
Cheerin' United in the cup final
Sellin' the soap from the urinal
A clean toilet seat when I'm doing me thing
Life ain't over till the fat lady sings

[Verse 6]
Slagging off people cause they come from Leitrim
Being mistaken for Ronan Keating
Chips, batter burgers, onion rings
Life ain't over till the fat lady sings

[Interlude (Spoken words)]
Yeah, imagine not having a TV licence
I haven't had one for the last four years
And I won't have one for the next four years
Why should I buy one? There's nothin' on
TV3, TG4, TG for what?
For brutal television, that's what
They're all speakin' fartin' anyway

[Verse 7]
When I'm on the news because Pat Kenny sues
Drivin' me Hi-Ace around me bend for a cruise
Lettin' one amass [?] [farting sound]
Life ain't over till the fat lady sings

[Verse 8]
Six times platinum and I can't sing
Floored Michael Flatley in the boxing ring
Down at the pitching club and my one wins
Life ain't over till the fat lady sings

[Outro (Spoken words)]
Ah right about now
What is it missus?
No, you're not gettin' me
I'm not sayin' you're fat
I'm just sayin' that you shouldn't wear stripes
I admire the fact that you're able to carry five bags of chips in one hand and the salt and vinegar
All that I'm saying is that it's not over till you sing
Oh, by the way, you have a batter burger stuck between your teeth there