The Bull

On my farm, the bull is the king of the yard
He's big and bad and fast, he's... hard
All my other animals would readily concur
That he is the one you salute, he's the one you call sir
But my hens, a noisy, flighty flock
Led of course by my unsubmissive cock
Whenever his majesty the bull importantly goes by
They dance along behind him and they cry
Beware of the bull

The bull, the bull is the biggest of all
He is the boss, he is, because he's big and we are small
But the bigger the bull, bigger the bull, bigger the balls
The bigger the bull, the bigger and quicker and thicker the bullshite falls

Beware of the bull, the dancing cock is right
Beware of whoever looks down upon you from a height
Beware of his honour, his excellence, his grace, his worshipful
Beware of his highness, because of the bull
For if the boss, the chief, the chap at the top
Should let a single lump of claptrap drop
The greater the weight and the height he is, the harder it will go
With a grander splat on the bleeders below
Beware of the bull

The bull, the bull is the biggest of all
He is the boss, he is, because he's big and we are small
But the bigger the bull, bigger the bull, bigger the balls
The bigger the bull, the bigger and quicker and thicker the bullshite falls

The hero arrives, we hoist him shoulder high
He's good and wise and strong, he's brave, he's... shy
And how we have to plead with him, how bashfully he climbs
Up the steps to the microphone two at a time
Then down it comes, slick, slithery pat
If you must put people on pedestals, wear a big hat
The tongue he's got is pure gold, the breast is pure brass
The feet are pure clay, and watch out for the arse
Beware of the bull

The bull, the bull is the biggest of all
He is the boss, he is, because he's big and we are small
But the bigger the bull, bigger the bull, bigger the balls
The bigger the bull, the bigger and quicker and thicker the bullshite falls

At long last the revolution comes
And in no time at all we're erecting podiums
There's comrades with chests of medals by the balconyful
After the red flag, the galloping bull
The saviour came especially from on high
To face up to the punters eye to eye
No sooner is he dead and gone, there's blessed pulpits full
Bestride the holy lamb, behold the bull
Beware of the bull

The bull, the bull is the biggest of all
He is the boss, he is, because he's big and we are small
But the bigger the bull, bigger the bull, bigger the balls
The bigger the bull, the bigger and quicker and thicker the bullshite falls

These well-known men, so over-glorified
There's one of them here, his name's on the poster outside
And he's up here like this, and you are all down there
Remember his cock and his bull and mutter beware
For when they've done, we clap, we cheer, we roar
For he is a jolly good fellow, encore, more, more
How glorious it would be if before these buggers began
We all stood up together and solemnly sang
Beware of the bull

The bull, the bull is the biggest of all
He is the boss, he is, because he's big and we are small
But the bigger the bull, bigger the bull, bigger the balls
The bigger the bull, the bigger and quicker and
The bigger and quicker and thicker and
The bigger and quicker and thicker and slicker the bullshite falls