Sleepless

[Part I: Produced by OthelloBeats]

[Intro: Weldon Irvine]
Hello, morning, you look good, good to me
Kissing the sky, I can feel it move me
Hello, morning, you look good, good to me
Kissing the sky, I can feel
Hello, hello, hello, hello

[Verse: Jonny Farias & Weldon Irvine]
Wake up, play a dirge for my innocence
Othello on-, Othello on-, Othello
Spitting this verse in passing, it's early af
Tragic circumstances made a plain absence
We await your return to class
Shining bright like the Burning Man
False prophet, I need a sermon, stat
The sad stain the soul like astroturf, drive me crazy ‘til I crash and burn
Things were chill when I was taciturn, they had to turn to crap
Man, I’m just learning that’s just how the world is
Back in the jumpsuit, life hit me with the one-two
Morning sunrise
Every evening meal could be my last supper
Still whine over what I’ve bred to where I can’t utter raps
In a rough patch, wishing for a comeback
Not well, in a dry spell of serotonin
Everybody wanna know it all until they know it
Everybody wanna die but fear me when I really show it
Everybody's turned comic, y’all can quit the joking
Death in the family, we still in mourning
Morning sunrise
Hello, morning, you look good

[Part II: Produced by Dran Fresh]

[Verse]
I favor fantasy over reality
Remember we thought depression had lost?
Happiness went away and left me to rot
Child of God, but can't handle bearing a cross
You got accepted by Fordham, your stress should be gone, ha
Dran Fresh on the track
Free things come with their separate costs
And life comes at ya whether ready or not
Save your two cents as I attempt to weather the storm
Every day's a rainy one if the wet doesn’t stop
I’ve been acting thirty past seven o’clock
My temper is shot, the kettle black but guess who’s the pot
That's the tea, sloth, apathy, call it whatever you want
Been actin’ up like allergies, I tend to land on my feet
But curiosity gon' kill this cat, weeping as I wax lamentation
Character assassination, murder he wrote
Procrastinating away while Granny graduated from the IV league
My salad days are in a minor key
These aves got pedestrian flows
Though in the throes of a down time, I'm very restless
Feeling Muddy Waters, I try to let it Zeppelin
Mind flooded with bad thoughts as the levee breaks
Once led by example, but now I hope y’all ain’t led astray
Dran Fresh on the track
Show the ropes to them and they gon' tell you you're off
It’s no news ‘til it is, then it tell them it all
I should settle down like I'm finna tether the knot
Hang in there
Old friends starting to hit me up, but their names becoming foreign
Time has warped my days, wide awake, but feeling dormant
This is not a trend, this is not for some performance
I be on the mend, then retrogress back to my former
Uneasy, wishing I was easier
Wish I could be easier, sowing what I'm reaping
Feeling weaker, think I’m off the deep end
How come the Devil love to mess with my cerebrum?
When I die, hope it wasn't I that pulled the trigger
This whole life thing, man, I need a new lease, yeah
Can’t say it didn’t tire me, the three-wheeler
Do I really need ya? Do I really need ya?
Dran Fresh on the track
I wish you saw me how I see ya (I wish I saw me how you see me)
Fool in love like Tina, hittin' me like "Eureka"
You reek of desperation, can’t conceal it
Teachers asking, my dear what happened?
No cap, I don't have the strength to give an answer
Irritated, chicken scratching as a treatment
I can't make promises, ‘cause I'll never keep ‘em
Lay off the grease, hon’, it's killing your features
At least you're killing your features, ease up
Married to the game, but I fear I'll need a prenup
Never liked labels, autistic as a wee one
Maybe that explains my feelings, I need some reason
Draw a picture for y'all, word to Marisa
Draw a veil just in case your chico tears up
Draw a line between what enlivens and what kills, yeah
Draw a bead on the gift that God had to leave, Yah
Dran Fresh on the track
I've been sleepless

[Outro]
Find me by the Ferry, going South like we falling-out
Tourin’ with my hood up, you can see the truth within the shroud

[Part III: Produced by rarebowy]

[Verse 1: Jonny Farias]
Nice to meet ya, I’m dense
Try and see from my lens
Living life completely on edge
The type to sit on white fences
Hesitant
At a crossroads with everything
Off the rails, cry rivers and drown in denial
Big mane act like cowardly lion
Roaring like ‘29, that's that great depression
I don't know the answers, so I'm taking guesses (keep it C)
Finna put lead in the bubble like scantron
Clear my head, clear my head
Wackjob, afro pick coming out the flat top
Pacifist driven to the last straw
Bad dog, that’s the pits
In the rough, but I can’t shine
Look at me, look up to me, look down on me, just don't look away
I told you I'm fine, you know it's a lie, and friends don't, at least they shouldn't be
I’m as good as grief, heaps of hooky played
I been in the jungle, a-weema-weh
I sift through the rubble, tryna keep my faith
Elohim, won’t you hear my prayers?
Just turned 18, what’s there to celebrate?
I ain’t hungry, y’all can split the cake
Bad times like 3:08
Medicate or meditate?
Either way, can’t clean my slate
Hallowed be thy name, but ruthless be thy ways
I ain’t convertible, can’t set me straight
My gaze is vertical, I done underwent vertigo
Stopped in my tracks when I heard it was terminal

[Interlude: Jonny Farias & Aaron Paul (as Todd Chavez)]
Night
You can't keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay!
In the dark of the night
You need to be better!
Baby, I should tell you I’ve been out it as of recent
No, no, just stop
Puzzled mind and broken heart, I’m picking up the pieces
You are all the things that are wrong with you
Nights I didn’t sleep, yeah, fighting with my demons
It's you
All up in my feelings, they be shifting like the seasons
Alright? It's you

[Verse 2: Jonny Farias & Letitia Wright]
Watch the breakdown
I’m a burden to everybody, man, I'm poison
Actions speak louder than words, but I keep on making the wrong choices
I used to be high off life, took a large dosage, now my life’s joyless
Feel like I'm in deep space, losing oxygen, all of my cries pointless
Open season on the boy that’s tweaking
Tryna be the victor like Oladipo
Pace yourself, I've become so hidden that I can't locate myself
I hate myself
But how come? Boy, you got talent, some fans, and a platform
Don’t that bring you happiness?
Or maybe that line of thought’s damaging
Why don't you answer this: Why do I still feel inadequate?
Watch the breakdown
Scramblin’, falling as flat as a fish out the ocean
Sit on the docs like I’m Otis
Perfectionist, so stressed
I just feel like a phony
Where has the Lord been?
I don’t know, sis
Don’t feel holy nor chosen
Hard-fought battles, need reinforcements
Been avoiding a diagnosis
Feared the pills and potions
Blamed the shuffle I’m lost in
But my home of cards is falling
Brokenhearted, grown lethargic
End my walk, look over at the enormous drop
Oh my God, my feet left the floor, I vaulted
Can’t be saved now, will I float?
If I don’t, you better hope they find me
See a rose post mortem, prolly
No slowing down, like Cousteau I’m diving
Close to ploppin’ into the foam below me
Then I woke up sobbing

[Part IV: Produced by rarebowy]

[Intro]
Rapper?

[Verse]
Keep schtum, keep schtum
Golden State way I blew it since 3/1
Treading water lightly, I feel stuck, need to be hugged
Embrace the thread and thrum, easier said than done (embrace the thread and thrum)
Hanging by it, the agony covers me cap-a-pie
In the belly of the beast, bound to lose my appetite
Starving artist slash simpleton, started giving up
You’re fitting the description of a stereotypical spic
Inner city idiot, quit slipping up
Stiff that upper lip of yours when it comes to the implicit
You’re too explicit, son, they gon’ want you beaten up (not if I do it first)
Can you even really call yourself Dominican? (¿De dónde eres?)
I hold it in and scroll through pics that don’t uplift but show their wins
Game, match, and set; comparison, you check off
Jonny, get your guns and stick to them
You fell behind, fix it, the slack, please pick it up
Crumbling infrastructure got me questioning if I'm built for this
Crash like DAW before yearend, I'll report back in the interim

[Part V: Produced by rarebowy]

[Intro: Jonny Farias]
Guilty pleasure, won't you validate me?
Guilty pleasure, how you aggravate me
Guilty pleasure, no I can't replace you
Redundant, this feels redundant
Guilty pleasure, why can't you save me?
I'm upset, I'm obsessed

[Verse: Jonny Farias]
This a shift in vibe to those who skimmed and stopped
This cat got tales to tell, I'll spin a yarn
Hit the bottom, brain on the fritz
This thickened plot I should dig no longer
One bullet, might just miss my shot
Hard to breathe, already gave my heart
The hard of it, she wants a different heart
I’m feeling stupid, my feelings stupid

[Refrain: Frank Ocean & Jonny Farias]
How come the ecstasy always depresses me so?
Chemically I don't have no more new places to go
Feeling like a ghost, invisible
Do you hear me? Do you see me?
How come the ecstasy always depresses me so?
Chemically I don't have no more new places to go

[Part VI: Produced by brokebwoy]

[Verse]
Wake up, play a dirge for my innocence (Pisces)
Took the bait, now it's time to fry bigger fish (cancer)
Vox clamantis in deserto
Boy, you whine like merlot
Worst role model if you’ve ever eyed one
Why put a suicidal kid so high up?
High up, let’s not jump to conclusions
Guidance: never judge the series by the pilot
Jesus, my reflection looking like Judas
Brutus, stabs in the dark for solutions
From a young age, they tell us not to lie and yet they never tell you ‘bout the side effects
Drifting from the principles I’ve heeded, take attendance, is you present bro?
Literally been ready to die, it’s no biggie though
Child of the indigo, waiting for the scales to fall from my third eye
Wish it was plain and simple though
Turbulence, sick from the chemtrail life been dispensing
If God is good all the time, then I've got several questions
To many ministers, men and women, I'm mini-Vincent
Yet I'm double-minded and rickety in every mission
Switch hitter swinging for the fences
Keep on missing, feel like quittin’
But penning is the anesthetic
Soliloquies given, diffident, so nitpicky with writtens, feeling hemmed in
Guinea pig in a system that's Willie Lynchin’ the children
Rivet spittin’ finna leave me swimming with the fishes
Skinny dipping in the naked truth, I may just drown
Making opus, evading onus, bumped into mental blocks
Pushing boulders feeling like I'm over a barrel
Beefing with myself, haven't thrown away the hatchet
Toto, this ain't Kansas no more, this is madness
Lonesome, romantic, whiffed it, lots of no's I was granted
Love’s a drug, need that XO in my plasma
Going blow for blow with the angel
Give me my blessing, L-L-Lord give me answers
Bottomless pit, don't fall in the chasm
Stay Shakespeare with it, put your soul in the stanzas
We’re all merely players, the issue is I’ve got stage fright
Seven ages everyday, he gotta learn to make time (tick tock)
Are my main lines being said in vain?
Hyperventilate ‘til I'm in a breathless state

[Part VII: Produced by rarebowy]

[Intro]
Drowning in air
Life, it ain’t fair
Deep in the mire
I’ll sleep when I---
When animals see a great threat, they play dead

[Verse]
Is it okay that I’m not okay?
I know this is no way to live
I just wanna feel no pain
Wanna hit nirvana, RIP Cobain
If God give me stardust, I’d prolly blow it like Coltrane
My soul train’s gone off track
Forget that, peep the line though, ayy
Lost my compass, been going the wrong way
Time fly like fourth plague
It’s been hard, my heart gon' be hardened
My apologies
You caught me on an off day, in all ways
And that’s always
Stuck between Moses rock and a hard place
Sleepless, hopeless
Never felt more woke than at this wake, huh?
Ain’t that comedy? Ain’t that irony?
One life, what you afraid of?
One life, that’s what I was afraid of
Who’s to blame, God?
You’re flawless, so it’s I, straight up, eyes straight up
Maybe I should go to sleep to wake up
Excuse me, who are you?