Growing Up

[Part I: Produced by Brokeboi]

[Intro: Alison Brie (as Diane Nguyen), Will Arnett (as Bojack Horseman) and Aaron Paul (as Todd Chavez)]
Anyway, I'm glad you’re alive
I am too
The woods are dark and scary, but the only way out is through
Brokeboi, what's poppin?

[Verse: Jonny Farias]
Memories of sitting at the bus stop
The hustle and bustle surrounding me as I untwine
It's hard to take the wonted mask that obstructs off
Let’s have a toast to those we done lost who we love lots, uh
Rosa, I wish I could get some closure
Three leaves on my clovers, switches made my fuse shorter
Friends ran with the bull like Pamplona, seeing a shrink the more I grow up
Melancholy left a block that's in my head like a stone wall
Atop Pride Rock, I let a cry out and hope it's heard
Watched as the matriarch and her cubs' roles reversed
Gauze for my bleeding scars means the midnight oil is burning
But with every spoken word, I fear more that this poet's cursed
Will he amaze with words worth the attention though?
Got the trencher full, EDM up in the stethoscope
Tell me all that I don't know, nose grow as I say I'm so so
Playing Marco Polo in troubled waters, but I'm often solo
Under relentless pressure, I fold
Curdled blood’s become as common as type O, you get the message?
At sixes and sevens, tried to cope by spending time alone
Things fell apart as I gave those black thoughts a home
They started to bring me peace
Identity: I don’t know, self-esteem highly low
Something suspend my disbelief to interrupt my misery
Stress relief is vital, though I'm tryna break my cycle
Alter my history, longevity’s what tends to occupy my dome
But can I live up to expectations I set?
Sleepless, but busy making my bed
All eyes on me, and they're placing their bets
I'm just tryna give ‘em my best
But at times, I wanna receive what I give
Is it selfish?
Grappling with vices, no Biden, it's left me pensive
Radio silence regardless of reception
Moved away, kept those that love me most at arm’s length
Though I'm open on these tracks, they'll at least be left dwelling on what a part meant
It's complex when you take a look at my life
My biggest fan once told me, “You're really good with advice”
Maybe you should take some

[Shoutouts: Jonny Farias]
To Sam, Marisa, Emile, Christine, Joey, Mohammad, Jillian, Gabe, Jake, Galib, Murad, Andi, Lisne, Sumi, Liam, Travis, Courtney, Shaun Lib, j. sula, and the rest of y'all listening
Thank you for making me feel like I mean something

[Outro: Jonny Farias]
So much hardship, there's no dial to turn this off
Peace like gold dust, I'm incensed, but God gon' keep that myrrh near I, ah
Sometimes, I don't know if it's worth it all
When every day's beginnin' to feel like Murphy's law
Rest in peace to Denis, every word cathartic
Why does life take aim at where it hurts the hardest?

[Part II: Produced by YZ 虎]

[Intro: Jonny Farias & Aaron Paul (as Todd Chavez)]
Many things stuck in my head like a melody
Is this all a dream? Sing merrily
Verily, truth gon' be the death of me
You gon' be the death of me
Love gon' be the death of me
Lust gon' be the death of me
Identity gon' be the death of me
Hegemony gon' be the death of me
Death of me
Laugh without fear of the future
The search, the journey, that's the death of me
The only way out is through

[Verse: Jonny Farias]
Look
I've been thinking lately, I've been driven crazy
Tryna get out of this frenzy
Used to hit ‘em with an "Np"
Now I hit ‘em with an LP
That's a lot of problems
Scratching my head, wondering how to solve ‘em
Feel like the answer's in front of me
Trying to move forward, I'm struggling
Can't find joy in the Sun and trees
Some days, to say the least, I wanna leave
You're too young to think about your ending
Comfort me, someone please
Nah, I'm fine, but I really ain't
Fundraiser, wasn't feeling brave
Mommy, auntie saw me spill the beans
But I'm still in the maze, keep me in your prayers
This mess I'm in, it's so self-created
Feeling agitated and my head been aching
Everybody's saying that there's better days ahead
Can they come quicker?
Tears dribblin', no NBA
The world's getting worse everyday
School trained me to feel empty, ayy
Happiness only lies in my dreams (it lies)
The sea breeze makes me sick at heart
You and I on the edge of the boat
You were in my arms, I was over the edge
“I love you” on the edge of my tongue but I bit it
What can I say? I was smitten
Message in a bottle written
Save our souls from the sprint of life that we're living
Can you dead' lift me? (We can't work out)
Who am I living for?
Mother, should I build the wall?
All that I'm doing is bringing misfortune
I'm difficult, this is difficult
Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired
Shouldn't cry 'bout it, 'cause I ain't a child no more
Pondering what I've felt inside
I'mma drown in it tryna stem the tide
Feel like I owe every friend of mine
Made attempts at flying, I fell short
I'll make another attempt at flying (jump)
Hope it's the last one

[Outro: Jonny Farias & Kendrick Lamar]
Why your eyes so red, yo?
Look high, but I am low
Look high up to Him though
Sing another line from the hymnals (another line)
Just snapped at my lil' bro
This stressful
I can't change the world until I change myself
This stressful, but that's alright
Anew, is it anew?