Reincarnation

[Verse 1]
Well, I'm sorry God, I have to say
That having just one life per person is not enough, not enough
I would like to live more times than this
If you don't agree then tough, t-u uff
There are other lives going on, I haven't lived
Which gives me a sense of frustration, frustration-frustration
I'm not too bothered about being Joan of Arc or Mary Queen of Scots
I just fancy Twentieth Century reincarnation

[Verse 2]
I want to keep coming back
And trying a different track
I want to go round and round
Cos I never feel I've got things right
It isn't a proper scheme
I just want to let off steam
We all have to have a dream
And I'm following my dream tonight

[Verse 3]
I want to be Mrs Pew
And live in an avenue
I want to have bing-bong chimes and a bathroom with a champagne suite
In my candlewick dressing grown
I want to put Harpic down
If my ironing smells quite fresh then my happiness will be complete

[Verse 4]
I'll wear an apron when I chop my veggies
Have tiny cactus on the window ledges
Have a roller blind with scalloped edges
I will never use a wok, so
I'd prefer to stick to Mrs Beeton
Have a hob that I can then reheat on
Use my toaster with the ears of wheat on
I will do a lot with OXO

[Verse 5]
I want to be Pauline Park
And work as an invoice clerk
I want to eat lean cuisine, even though I'm eight stone two
I'll sit and I'll fantasise
About cruel men with piercing eyes
Then I'll microwave two mince pies
And have them with a cup of tea

[Verse 6]
I'll watch a thriller if it's not too gory
A mini-series if I like the story
I think there ought to be more Nana Mouskouri
No, I never have the news on
Doctor Scholl will be my favourite sandal
Higher heels than that, I cannot handle
Saw Barry Manilow and held my candle wax was running down my blouson

[Verse 7]
I want to be Vera Paige
A dame of a certain age
I want to have big red lips and a cleavage that would drown a mouse
I want to call all men swine
Have visible panty-line
Have sing-songs on British wine, I always have it in the house

[Verse 8]
I'll be known in all the pubs and chip shops
Dangly jewellery and sequin zip tops
Tracksuit bottoms and stiletto flip-flops
I'll be really in the groove, eh?
Never take a bus if I can cab it
Offer me a bit of life, I'll grab it
My libido would defeat a rabbit
And I'll never change the duvet

[Verse 9]
I want to be Eileen Gum
Who calls herself just a mum
I want to have three big lads and a husband that I've driven nuts
I'll struggle and sacrifice
To make sure they have things nice
I'll give them such good advice
They'll absolutely hate my guts

[Verse 10]
I'll make them bags that they can take their pumps in
I'll knit pyjamas they can have their mumps in
My mashed potato will have big grey lumps in
I'll control each family member
Make them gather round the Christmas table
And eat until to move they are unable
They'll wish that Joseph never found that stable
I'll put my sprouts on in November

[Verse 11]
I think it's a giant con
We can't all be everyone
I want to go round and round
Just living every life in sight
It isn't a proper scheme
I just want to let off steam
We all have to have a dream
And I'll be following my dream
Following my dream
Following my dream tonight!