Puhoy (Script)

TITLE SEQUENCE

CUT TO: INT. THE TREEHOUSE

Cut to an establishing shot of the Treehouse. It is raining knives outside.

JAKE: Beep beep! Look out.

Cut inside the Treehouse, which has been completely filled with a pillow fort. Finn sits alone on a pillow. Jake enters the frame shape-shifted into a tractor and carrying pillows.

JAKE: Beep beep! Pillow delivery. Look out, buddy!

Jake drops the pillows onto Finn. BMO and CMO fall out and hit Finn in the head.

FINN: Ugh!

BMO: Ugh!

FINN: Come on, Jake.

JAKE: Sorry buddy, just trying to cheer you up some.

Jake turns back into a dog, hitting Finn in the transformation process.

JAKE: I mean here you are chillin' out with history's coolest friends, building an actual pillow fort, but you just sit there sulking. I'm like, what gives?

Finn sighs.

FINN: I guess I'm just thinking about Flame Princess. I told her a joke the other day and she didn't even laugh or anything. I guess it's over between us.

JAKE: That's it? A joke?

BMO: Maybe she just didn't get it yet.

FINN: Yeah right, BMO. More like she used up all her laughs on some other guy's jokes probably. Man, having a girlfriend is hard.

JAKE: No, being crazy is hard.

As Jake speaks, he spins one arm into a big swirl and then opens the swirl to reveal a smaller version of himself.

JAKE: You're getting all hung up, all hung up on imaginary problems. You gotta focus on what's real, man.

Jake returns to normal and stretches his arm out to grab a cup from off-screen.

JAKE: You see this cup? This is literally my favorite cup.

Jake chucks the cup out into the knife storm outside, breaking a window as it sails.

JAKE: Now it's gone forever. So it's not real, and I don't care about it anymore.

BMO gasps.

BMO: Oh no! My favorite window!

FINN: I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I think I just need some alone time.

Finn gets up, grabbing a cup and a sword.

FINN: Gotta let my mind fester a bit, you know? I'll be back in a little while.

Finn crawls into the pillow fort's entrance. Jake and BMO stand in the entranceway as he crawls.

JAKE: Finn! Festering is always bad, man! There's no good kind of festering! Finn!

Jake's yelling fades as the scene fades to black. After a beat, Finn reappears, now walking in an entirely black void.

FINN: Man, this looked smaller from the outside.

He sees a light in the distance.

FINN: What's this now? What the? Jake, what's in here? Jake?

Finn arrives at a small door at the end of the tunnel. He pushes it open and crawls out into a world made entirely of pillows.

FINN: Oh, whoa! Did Jake build this part too?

The camera pans around the pillow world as Finn looks out. When it cuts back to his face, the door he exited is gone.

FINN: That guy needs some more girlfriends or something. Hey Jake! You need more girlf... What the...? Door's gone?

He pats the blank wall where the door once was. After a moment, he gets up and approaches a vantage point over a pillow town.

FINN: Hm, maybe there's another door in yonder pillow town.

He slides down the ledge and into the town.

FINN: I don't get this at all.

Screaming is heard offscreen and several pillows run past Finn, yelling over each other.

PILLOWS: Dragon! Blanket Dragon! Run!

FINN: Huh?

One of the pillows bumps into Finn.

PILLOW 1: Oof! Hey mister, you betta get runnin'! Blanket Dragon!

The pillow runs off. Cut to a pillow dragon landing in the town as pillow people scatter.

FINN: Now this, I understand!

Finn unsheathes his sword and leaps towards the dragon. He and the dragon yell at each other as he sails upwards. Finn slashes the dragon's neck, letting loose a flurry of feather stuffing. The dragon, shrieks, collapses, and dies.

FINN: Oh. That's it?

PILLOW 2: Wow.

Dozens of pillows pour out from the buildings in town to surround Finn.

FINN: Hey, uh, how's it going?

Quilton and his assistant approach Finn.

QUILTON: Puhoy there! I am Quilton, son of Pillowford, and you have saved our village. You and your sharp pillow.

FINN: Hah, it's nothing. I kill things all the time.

QUILTON: Oh, nonsense! This calls for a cele-pillow-bration!

CUT TO: EXT. PILLOW TOWN, NIGHT

Cut to a party in the pillow town that night. Dozens of pillows celebrate in the middle of town, dancing and playing music. Some pillows hang up a sign which reads, "THANK YOU, NEW FLESH PILLOW!" Cut to Finn with a concerned expression, wearing a sash which reads, "BEST PILLOW." He walks away from the party and takes off the sash, sitting down behind a wall of pillows. He looks up at the wall where the door disappeared and sighs. Roselinen approaches Finn.

ROSELINEN: There you are, Finn the Human.

FINN: Oh, hey, there, um... You can just call me Finn if you want.

Roselinen sits next to him.

ROSELINEN: All right, Finn. My name is Roselinen, daughter of Quilton. You have to call me the whole thing.

FINN: Oh, uh...

ROSELINEN: Just kidding!

FINN: Heh. Oh, uh, your dad seems fun.

Cut to Quilton laughing and dancing.

QUILTON: Oh my! Puhzah!

Cut back to Finn and Roselinen.

ROSELINEN: Yeah. Um, you wanna dance?

FINN: Oh, well...

A pillow bird lands next to him.

FINN: I have a girlfriend.

The pillow bird chirps. Roselinen laughs and playfully pats Finn's face.

ROSELINEN: Dummy, it's a dance, not marriage.

Finn: Yeah, okay.

The pillow bird excretes pillow waste onto Finn. Finn and Roselinen stand up.

FINN: This place is weird.

ROSELINEN: Are you telling me that birds in your world don't poo little pillowcases?

Finn and Roselinen move to the dance floor.

FINN: Nah, just regular poo.

ROSELINEN: Hey, like this.

Roselinen grabs Finn's left hand in hers and places his right around her waist.

FINN: Eh, yeah, it's really cool. Where I come from, I live with my best friend, who's my brother. And he's a dog. We fight stuff. It's cool. It's really different than here. I mean, where I'm from, blankets and pillows are used for bedding.

She raises an eyebrow at him.

ROSELINEN: Well they're used for that here too.

He laughs nervously. Next to them, Quilton laughs while dancing with another pillow.

QUILTON: Pill-ightful!

FINN: Aw, man. It's been nice, Roselinen, but I gotta get back to my home. Quilton, I need your help to find a portal to my home world.

QUILTON: Of course, we will do our best to help you, Finn the Flesh Pillow. But you're not making a fold of sense!

Quilton's assistant arrives, carrying a tray of pillows.

QUILTON: Please, share our food. You need nourishment.

Finn picks one up and struggles to speak as it fills his mouth.

Finn: It tastes like a pillow.

QUILTON: I'll give your compliments to the pillow.

A pillow in a chef's hat waves.

CUT TO: INT. THE TREEHOUSE

A wipe cut transitions from the pillow world back to the treehouse. Jake uses a fishing pole to fish his cup out from the knife storm outside. BMO comes out from under a bucket next to him.

BMO: Oh, there you are! You found your mug. I thought you said you didn't care.

Jake sips from the mug.

BMO: That mug is empty.

JAKE: I wonder what Finn's up to.

CUT TO: INT. FINN & ROSELINEN'S HOUSE, DAY

Another wipe cut back to the pillow world. Two pillow children are playing in a living room, re-enacting Finn's battle with the pillow dragon.

JAY: Roar! I'm the Blanket Dragon!!

BONNIE: Well, I'm daddy. Sha-pow!

Bonnie falls over, knocking a pillow off of Jay's head. Cut to Roselinen in a kitchen nearby.

ROSELINEN: Jay, Bonnie, I bet your daddy is just about finished chopping wool. You guys wanna bring him his lunch?

JAY AND BONNIE: Yes!

Cut outside. An adult Finn uses his sword to cut down a pillow tree. It timbers harmlessly onto a pillow sheep. Finn laughs and slaps his knee.

FINN: Alphanumeric! Pillow sheep, you have more fluff than sense!

He kisses the sheep and kicks it off screen.

JAY AND BONNIE: Daddy! Daddy!

Finn laughs as they approach.

FINN: What is this!

He lifts Bonnie up into the air.

FINN: A pack of fearsome pillow goblins?

Bonnie laughs.

BONNIE: Daddy, we're your kids!

ROSELINEN: Psst, Finn, they've brought you lunch.

FINN: Oh, they have, have they?

Finn kneels down to Jay, who's holding a plate of pillows.

FINN: Tiny pillows.

He grabs one, eats it, and ruffles Jay's hair. Jay giggles.

FINN: Darling, you've outdone yourself.

Finn embraces Roselinen.

QUILTON: Honk, honk!

JAY AND BONNIE: Grandpillow!

A pillow car approaches the house in the distance.

ROSELINEN: What's my father doing here?

The car is revealed to be just Quilton and his assistant carrying a blanket over their heads. They remove the blanket and Quilton waves.

QUILTON: Puhoy!

JAY AND BONNIE: Grandpillow!

QUILTON: Oh, come here!

Quilton embraces Jay and Bonnie.

QUILTON: But, I've come to speak with your father.

FINN: What is it, Quilton?

QUILTON: When you first arrived here, you told us of a mysterious door that led you to our world.

FINN: Yes, of course.

QUILTON: Archaeologists found this in the Pillow Catacombs.

Quilton's assistant hands him a pillow book. Quilton opens it to a page featuring an illustration of a door.

QUILTON: The Pillownomicon.

FINN: Oh my glob.

QUILTON: There is no information about the door save for the fact it shows up periodically and then disappears.

FINN: Quilton, I need to find that door.

The camera zooms to Roselinen, who looks down sadly.

CUT TO: INT. TREEHOUSE

Another wipe cut to Jake's cup back in the treehouse. BMO has put a rainbow afro wig on it and is wearing an identical wig. Cut back to show Jake standing next to them.

JAKE: Uh, hey BMO, I gotta snag my mug from you.

BMO: Oh, really?

JAKE: Hey don't sweat it, I'll make us some hot chocolate.

Jake takes the wig off of the cup and puts it on top of BMO's wig.

BMO: Jake, you drive a hard burger.

CUT TO: EXT. PILLOW WORLD

Another wipe to an establishing shot of a large pillow plateau. Cut to Finn entering a tent, looking very old.

FINN: Hello?

Cut to the inside of the tent. Rasheeta sits on a large pillow under a pillow lamp.

RASHEETA: Ah yes, come in.

Finn enters.

FINN: Are these The Great Abacadabra Mountains? And are you Rasheeta the Great Oracle, dweller of said mountains?

RASHEETA: Yes, and you must be Finn the Human Man, seeker of the wandering portal.

FINN: Yes, I've searched for decades. How did you know?

RASHEETA: I've read it in the Tea Leaves.

Rasheeta pulls out a newspaper titled "The Tea Leaves," which features an article about Finn's visit titled, "Human man visits witch."

RASHEETA: This newspaper I found from the future.

FINN: Does it say how I get home?

RASHEETA: The real question is: Are you sure you want to?

FINN: Uh, yeah!

RASHEETA: Well don't worry, you won't be here long.

Rasheeta farts.

FINN: So there is another way to... Oof...

RASHEETA: Not long now.

Rasheeta farts again.

FINN: Oh...

Finn coughs and exits the tent. His family is camped out nearby.

BONNIE: Father?

JAY: What did the oracle say, father? Have we come to the right spot finally?

FINN: I think so, but the oracle spoke in riddles. Gonna have to fester on this one for a bit...

ROSELINEN: Oh, Finn. I know you have to go. All these years I've known, but now that it's time... Oh man, I'm just all messed up about it. Just promise me you'll remember us, when you're back in your real life.

Roselinen and Finn both tear up. Finn strokes his beard.

FINN: Hmm, that reminds me, Roselinen, of something Jake told me just before I came to this world.

He flashes back to a poorly misremembered version of what Jake said to him at the beginning of the episode. Jake's voice is different and doesn't look quite accurate.

JAKE: You're getting all hung up on imaginary problems. Stay with your new wife. You've known her longer now than any of us. You're not even sure I ever really existed. And I'm pretty sure I didn't look like this.

The flashback ends.

FINN: Man. How did he see it all coming so clearly? Come on, everyone. Pack your things, we're going home.

CUT TO: INT. TREEHOUSE

Cut to Jake launching BMO into the air repeatedly. BMO laughs.

BMO: Goodness, Jake. Why don't you do this with your other babies?

JAKE: Well, Rainicorn babies age rapidly. They don't need their parents a couple hours after they're born.

BMO: That really stinks, huh?

Jake gets a sad look on his face.

JAKE: Mm.

A ding is heard off screen.

BMO: Hot chocolate is ready!

CUT TO: INT. PILLOW BUILDING

Cut to a first person shot from Finn's perspective, which is at first black as his eyes are closed.

ROSELINEN: Finn? Finn.

Finn's eyes open, revealing his family standing around him as he lays in bed.

FINN: Wh... Where...?

ROSELINEN: Are you comfortable?

Cut away from first person to show Finn laying in bed, looking very old.

FINN: I'm... alright.

BONNIE: Um, dad, dad, we just wanted to say that we-

Bonnie sobs. Jay puts his hand on her shoulder.

JAY: That we love you dad.

Finn strokes his beard.

FINN: I remember back when I was dad.

Jay sighs.

JAY: Dad, you are dad.

Finn raises his arms above his head.

FINN: I ain't dad yet! Oh, no, wait!

Cut back to first person from Finn's perspective. His vison twists into a kaleidoscope of patterns and colors.

FINN: Here it comes! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, boy!

The colors and patters shatter to black. A small red figure appears in the distance and turns as Finn falls rapidly towards them. Cut away from first person. Finn lands on the figure's outstretched tongue and bounces off of it over their head. Finn looks back and the figure watches as Finn continues to fall away. A computer sound is heard as Finn falls through the pillow fort and back into the real world, emerging as his young self again. BMO and Jake are sitting with each other. He approaches them.

JAKE: Hey buddy, you feeling better already?

FINN: Huh? Oh. Uh, I don't know, man. I... I just had the number one wildest dream.

JAKE: Really?

FINN: Yeah! I was-

Finn's phone rings and he answers it.

FINN: Hello? Oh hey! Oh. Yeah, thanks! Yeah, okay, bye.

He hangs up.

FINN: That was Flame Princess. She said she didn't get my joke until just now, and that it's really funny and awesome!

BMO: Ha ha! I knew it!

JAKE: Yeah, that's great man. Now what about this dream?

FINN: What dream?

JAKE: The dream you were just talking about.

FINN: Huh?

JAKE: Just a second ago!

Finn shrugs.

JAKE: The dream you just had in the pillow fort!

Finn shrugs again and blows a raspberry.

END CREDITS