Jake the Dog (Script)

TITLE SEQUENCE

CUT TO: EXT. MERTENS’ FARM, EVENING

Near the burning residence of the Mertens family, Wish-World Finn and Wish-World Marceline sit on Barbarus the donkey. Wish-World Finn puts on the Ice Crown and begins to scream. His eyes glow blue.

WISH-WORLD MARCELINE: I warned you.

He and Wish-World Marceline both fall off of Barbarus.

WISH-WORLD FINN: (Thinking) I can hear the crown’s promise of power invading my brain.

He gets up. His hair begins to grow rapidly. He coughs, spewing ice out of his mouth. He flies into the air and clouds begin to swirl around him. He strains and grunts, sending ice to quench the fire consuming his home. He turns to the Destiny Gang, his eyes wild.

WISH-WORLD FINN: Destiny gang!

He freezes three of the Destiny Gang solid. Another goes running, and he sends bolts of ice after him. Wish-World Marceline watches.

WISH-WORLD MARCELINE: Careful, there. Careful! You dankus! Oh, Simon.

She runs for Simon’s corpse, dodging ice bolts. Inside the ruin, the ice holding the bomb begins to crack.

WISH-WORLD MARCELINE: Ah! One more hit and that baby’s gonna burst!

Outside, Wish-World Finn continues shooting bolts of ice.

WISH-WORLD FINN: Ice lightning!

Inside, the bolt causes the crack in the ice to grow.

WISH-WORLD MARCELINE: Ah, dingo.

Part of the ice layer slides off. Cut to Wish-World Finn outside. The bomb explodes, sending green gas resembling monstrous faces out into the sky.

WISH-WORLD FINN: What’s happening?

The green gas continues to spread. Wish-World Finn notices Barbarus below him.

WISH-WORLD FINN: Bar-Bar! I’ll save you!

He flies down and hugs Barbarus, creating a shield of ice around the pair. After an unspecified amount of time, the ice shield breaks, and Wish-World Finn and Barbarus stand as green gas expands above them.

CUT TO: INT. TIME ROOM

Cut to an establishing shot of the exterior of the Time Room, floating in space. Cut inside the Time Room. Jake shouts and turns around the room.

JAKE: Finn? Finn! Hey, guy, where’s my buddy?

PRISMO: Oh, when he wished for The Lich to have never existed...

Prismo takes a sip of his drink, and then lets go o f the mug, letting it float up the wall.

PRISMO: … Finn left my Time Room and entered his wish-altered reality. We can watch him on my TV wall.

Prismo materializes his remote and turns on the TV wall, which shows Wish-World Finn and Barbarus standing in the cracked ice shield.

WISH-WORLD FINN: Oh…

JAKE: Woah. Alternate-Wish-World Finn is mad uglies.

He looks at Barbarus.

JAKE: Dang, I’m mad uglies, too! Everything looks nuts.

PRISMO: Yes. Sometimes a well-intentioned wish can lead to nuts. But, you know, you get a wish, too.

JAKE: What?

PRISMO: Yep, totally.

Prismo mutes his TV.

PRISMO: You can have anything you want.

JAKE: I wish for… a sandwich!

PRISMO: … A sandwich? You’re gonna waste your one wish on a sandwich? You don’t want anything else?

JAKE: Nah, a sandwich is good. Maybe about this big.

He gestures with his hands, indicating a sandwich about a foot in length.

JAKE: Or… this big.

He gestures to indicate a slightly larger sandwich.

JAKE: On ciabatta bread, maybe? Hm, I don’t know. Whatever you got around. Your choice.

PRISMO: Dude, I’ll just make you a sandwich. You should use your wish on something important.

There’s a beat of silence.

PRISMO: You know, on someone who might need it?

He looks over at the TV wall. Jake stares blankly.

PRISMO: I’m talking about him over there.

JAKE: Oh.

They both turn to the TV. Wish-World Finn breaks open some ice shielding his family.

WISH-WORLD MINERVA: Finn?

They look out at the desolate landscape.

WISH-WORLD MINERVA: What... What on earth did this?

WISH-WORLD FINN: I did this.

WISH-WORLD MINERVA: No… That’s not possible. I raised you better than that!

Snow begins to fall.

WISH-WORLD FINN: It’s true!

He begins to laugh. Wish-World Minerva gasps.

WISH-WORLD FINN: I put out the fire! But, I also made the bomb go off.

He holds his head.

WISH-WORLD FINN: The crown… it compels me to ice up everything!

Lightning strikes. Barbarus brays. Wish-World Finn begins to cackle, but stops when he hears his younger sibling crying. He shakes his head, and his eyes return to normal.

WISH-WORLD FINN: I’m sorry, Mom. Dad. Little sibling. I’m too dangerous to be around.

He picks up his family and puts them on Barbarus.

WISH-WORLD MINERVA: What are you doing?

WISH-WORLD FINN: Take them far away, Bar-Bar.

He slaps Bar-Bar’s behind, causing him to run away.

WISH-WORLD FINN: Leave me! Leave me.

PRISMO: Looks like your friend is having a pretty rough time.

Back in the Time Room, Prismo and Jake are still watching the Wish-World timeline on mute. Jake is eating a sandwich.

JAKE: Hmm. Yeah. But, well, it’s Finn’s wish. Let’s just see how it plays out. I got confidence in my boy.

He stretches his back into a chair, which he sits in.

JAKE: Besides, I’ll hang on to my wish in case I need it.

He takes a bite of his sandwich. A pickle falls out the back.

JAKE: Aw.

PRISMO: Don’t worry dude, I got you covered.

Prismo materializes a jar of pickles.

PRISMO: They’re homemade.

JAKE: I love you, Prismo.

PRISMO: Oh.

He laughs. Jake gets up and returns his body to normal.

JAKE: I’m serious, man. You’re like a strong number three on my cool guys list. Oh man, my dad used to make pickles.

Jake opens the pickle jar.

JAKE: It’s all he used to talk about. He’d obsess over them all the time. When I’d come in from playing, he’d be like, “Here, Jake, try these.”

Jake takes a bite of a pickle.

JAKE: And they’d be pretty crunchy, actually. You’d think they’d be soft, but they weren’t. I’d be like, “Wow, dad, you made these pretty good.”

He finishes his pickle.

JAKE: Yeah, that was dad.

Prismo nods.

CUT TO: EXT. WISH WORLD

Wish-World Finn begins breaking Tromo out of ice.

WISH-WORLD FINN: Rise, my wintry warriors.

TRAMI: Tromo!

TROMO: Trami! Why am I cold and confused?

WISH-WORLD FINN: Fear not, icicle child, for I have birthed you into a new life!

TROMO: Huh? The Merten's kid?

WISH-WORLD FINN: An age of ice, and whispering snow!

He fully frees Tromo from the ice.

TRAMI: Hey, cronk me loose, T!

Tromo runs around and begins trying to pull Trami out of the ice.

TROMO: Come on!

Tromo kicks the ice apart and frees Trami.

TRAMI: You see Big Destiny anywhere?

The shot pans to show Big Destiny partially trapped in ice.

BIG DESTINY: Big D’s chillin’ over here, wasteland style.

The shot cuts to a close up of Big Destiny. The green gas is reflected in his shades. Trami and Tromo run over and attempt to free him.

TRAMI: Boss!

TROMO: Come back!

They pull and struggle to release him from the ice.

WISH-WORLD FINN: Only I can protect y’all! Stay.

He freezes Trami’s foot.

TRAMI: Ah! My kicks!

WISH-WORLD FINN: Can’t you hear the whispers?

Trami pulls his foot out of his shoe, leaving it frozen in ice.

TROMO: Forget Big D. Let’s go!

Tromo and Trami run away.

BIG DESTINY: I’ve taught you well, my traitorous gang.

Wish-World Finn sits on top of Big Destiny.

BIG DESTINY: Hmm?

WISH-WORLD FINN: The voices, they tell me to freeze the world.

BIG DESTINY: Get off of me, weirdo.

WISH-WORLD FINN: I am the end and the beginning. I am the hand of madness.

Wish-World Jake barks in the distance.

WISH-WORLD FINN: Jake?

CUT TO: INT. TIME ROOM

Prismo has brought out his hot tub. Jake sits in it along with Prismo’s head. Jake is still eating his sandwich.

PRISMO: Dude, I get out of relationships because I don’t want to have a discussion about what we’re gonna have for dinner every night. ‘Cause when I’m alone, I can just sit on the couch ‘til I’m hungry and eat whatever I want. It’s not like, “What should we eat for breakfast? We should coordinate.” That’s a pain.

JAKE: Man, your view of relationships is very bleak. Don’t you get lonely?

PRISMO: I have friends.

The Cosmic Owl arrives in the doorway of the Time Room.

COSMIC OWL: Hello, hello! Hey, so I brought over the...

The Cosmic Owl gasps. Prismo and Jake both turn to look at him.

COSMIC OWL: What is a singular doing in this realm?

PRISMO: He’s just here making a wish, Cosmic Owl.

COSMIC OWL: But I brought games! We were gonna hang.

PRISMO: After. Come on, get in here.

Cosmic owl puts his games down in the doorway.

COSMIC OWL: Okay.

He flies into the hot tub.

CUT TO: EXT. WISH-WORLD

Wish-World Finn finds Wish-World Jake in a pond of green goo.

WISH-WORLD FINN: Jake? Jake!

He pulls Wish-World Jake out of the pond. He’s being held by the skeleton of Wish-World Marceline. Wish-World Finn gasps.

WISH-WORLD MARCELINE: I warned you, you butt!

WISH-WORLD FINN: Woah!

He kicks her off of Wish-World Jake. Her skull sinks into the pond. Wish-World Finn pants. He looks down and sees that Wish-World Jake is going mad and gnawing on Wish-World Finn’s arm.

WISH-WORLD FINN: Don’t worry, Jake. I’ll share the secrets of ice and snow with thee.

It begins to snow again.

WISH-WORLD FINN: The power of frost! The power of frost! The power of fr-

CUT TO: INT. TIME ROOM

The Wish World continues playing on Prismo’s TV muted.

JAKE: Three, two, one, go!

Prismo begins beatboxing. Cosmic Owl eats a snack.

JAKE: We’re three nice dudes, havin’ fun
We got warm bubble water on our buns
I love this spa, and that’s a fact
But if I stay too long, I get a pruney back

He turns around and shows his pruney back, then begins beatboxing along with Prismo. Cosmic Owl reaches for another snack, but accidentally pushes them away. In his haste to reach for them again, he unmutes the TV. Wish-World Finn is rabidly approaching Wish-World Finn.

WISH-WORLD FINN: Jake? Jake, what are you doing?

Wish-World Jake growls and crawls towards Wish-World Finn. Jake turns to the TV to watch.

WISH-WORLD FINN: Back off my crown, Jake! I warn you!

JAKE: Hey man, I’m right here! That’s not me, man!

Wish-World Jake begins to contort and expand his body, eventually turning into The Lich. Finn flies up to fight him. As their fight begins, the TV turns to static.

JAKE: Finn! I’m in the spa bath! Oh, man.

PRISMO: Maybe now you’d like to use your wish?

JAKE: Make Finn okay! I wish for safe Finn!

He makes his head large.

PRISMO: Wait! Dude, look, I like you, so you should know my wishes always got an ironic twist to them. It’s like a Monkey’s Paw kind of thing.

JAKE: What?

PRISMO: You just gotta be really specific. Say your wish is, “I wish for a back rub.” Who’s gonna give it to you? A dirty man? A bear? And where does this masseuse come from? Do I zap some guy away from his family dinner?

Cosmic Owl narrows his eyes.

PRISMO: Leave some kid traumatized?

Cosmic Owl’s eyes go wide and he hoots.

PRISMO: “Mom, where did dad go?” “I don’t know, son. He just disappeared from the table. Sorry.”

Cut to Jake, whose jaw has dropped.

PRISMO: You see, Jake, there’s rules to this stuff. Wishing and event to be changes elements before and after it. Memories will be destroyed. Babies will not be born. Potential worlds could be evaporated by your wish.

Jake sweats. He vomits into the hot tub. Prismo and Cosmic Owl both hurry out of the tub.

PRISMO AND COSMIC OWL: Ew!

Jake gets out of the tub.

JAKE: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s a lot of pressure, man.

PRISMO: Focus, Jake.

He materializes an egg.

PRISMO: Here, eat this egg. It’s brain food.

Jake eats the egg.

JAKE: Ugh. Okay, okay. Think. Think.

PRISMO: Okay, there is a way to bring back all life and get home.

Prismo proceeds to lead Jake into wishing correctly.

PRISMO: You just have to cha…

JAKE: Cha…

PRISMO: ...a…

JAKE: ...a...ange.

PRISMO: The Li…

JAKE: The lipstick!

PRISMO: The Lich’s…

JAKE: Oh, The Lich’s…

PRISMO: Wi…

JAKE: ...ish.

Jake gasps.

JAKE: Change The Lich’s wish!

PRISMO: And go home.

JAKE: And go home! Okay, okay. I wish The Lich’s wish was for me…

PISMO: Ah…

JAKE: ... and Finn to go back home to Ooo.

PRISMO: I can work with that. Alright, this has been nice. See ya.

Jake fades away. The Cosmic Owl hoots.

CUT TO: EXT. TIME ROOM

Jake returns to the moment he and Finn originally arrived at the Time Room. They enter through the doorway as The Lich talks to Prismo. The Lich laughs.

THE LICH: I wish for the extinction of all li-

His head jitters momentarily.

THE LICH: -for Finn and Jake to go back home to Ooo. Huh? No, wait! That’s not what I wish for!

PRISMO: Sorry, guy. You only get one wish. Hey, Jake. Did you see that? Monkey’s Paw.

Finn and Jake are teleported away.

CUT TO: EXT. CANDY KINGDOM, NIGHT

Finn and Jake land outside of Princess Bubblegum’s keep.

FINN: Jake! What the… Why would The Lich wish… What? Jake?

Jake is tearing up.

JAKE: It worked!

Jake hugs Finn and they roll over.

FINN: Jake, this is serious! Something really messed up is happening!

Jake laughs.

JAKE: It already happened! And, it never happened!

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: What? What happened?

JAKE: Nothing, ‘cause I saved everybody!

The gems from the Enchiridion float into the air, then fly off and return to their respective crowns. First we see one return to Embryo Princess’s crown, then Hot Dog Princess’s crown.

CUT TO: INT. ICE KING’S HOME

Ice King sits on his throne. Gunter stands in front of him wearing a sign.

ICE KING: Now, honey, I told you, you can take the sign off when you tell me where you hid daddy’s crown jewels.

The shot cuts to Gunter. We see that the sign Gunter is wearing says, “I STEAL JEWELS.” Gunter honks.

ICE KING: Gunter! Huh?

The jewels from Ice King’s crown fly in and return to his crown.

ICE KING: Oh, wowzers!

The momentum knocks him off of his throne.

CUT TO: EXT. CANDY KINGDOM, NIGHT

Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum are all still sitting outside of the Princess’s keep. Something materializes in the distance, on the edge of the forest. Finn spots it arrive.

FINN: What’s that?

Finn and Jake walk over. It’s a jar of Prismo’s pickles and a note.

JAKE: Hmm.

He reads the note, which is narrated in Prismo’s voice. It reads, “If YOU Want TO COME BACK and Hang Out some TIME. c all me -P.”

PRISMO: If you want to come back and hang out sometime, call me. P.

Jake puts down the note.

JAKE: I gotta get that guy a girlfriend.

END CREDITS