Jake the Dad (Script)

TITLE SEQUENCE

CUT TO: EXT. LADY RAINICORN’S HOUSE

Finn and BMO arrive at Lady Rainicorn's house.

BMO: Puppies, puppies, puppies!

Finn enters the house. His shirt has “BEST UNKLE” written on it, upside down.

FINN: Hey, Jake! Hey, Lady! We came to see your new pups!

BMO jumps through the doorway.

BMO: Puppies!

Lady Rainicorn is in an upstairs loft. Jake comes down a ladder carrying his children, who are hidden in a blanket.

LADY RAINICORN: 얘들아 안녕

JAKE: Hey dudes! They're still pretty sleepy. Sleepy little sweeties.

Finn slaps his own cheek.

JAKE: Pups, meet everybody!

Lady Rainicorn pokes her head downstairs as Jake reveals the puppies to Finn and BMO.

BMO: Yes!

Jake sets the puppies down one-by-one. Ribbons appear on screen with their names.

JAKE: Charlie.

Charlie yawns. Her name ribbon has pink flowers around it.

JAKE: T.V.

T.V. flops over. His ribbon has miniature ducks in front of it.

JAKE: Viola.

Viola wiggles her legs. Her ribbon has some red flowers, a viola, and a bow.

JAKE: Kim Kil Whan.

Kim Kil Whan is so long that he has to be gently coiled up. His ribbon has a hot-dog in front of it.

JAKE: And this sweet little lady is Jake Jr.

He holds her in his arms, still concealed by the blanket. Her ribbon has a treasure chest and a skull in front of it. Jake tears up.

FINN: Aww!

Finn pulls the blanket away, revealing Jake Jr.’s butt.

FINN: Oh! That's a butt.

Jake Jr. wriggles out of the blanket and barks. Finn laughs.

FINN: Pretty cute!

Jake sniffles. He and Finn kneel down among the puppies.

JAKE: Finn, I love all my little babies so much.

He wipes the tears from his eyes with Jake Jr.

JAKE: I'm not gonna let anything happen to them!

Finn hugs Jake. Viola wanders off.

FINN: Dude, real talk. Are you worried about bein' a dad?

JAKE: No way.

He sets Jake Jr. down.

JAKE: Check this out!

Lady Rainicorn holds up a bag. Jake pulls something out of it.

JAKE: Thanks honey!

LADY RAINICORN: 당연해.

He holds up a cartridge, which has an image of Margaret holding Jake and Jermaine on it.

JAKE: It's Mom's manual for raising beautiful children.

FINN: Oh dude, Mom! She'd have been so proud to see you and your pups.

Jake tears up again. He’s distracted by the sound of BMO’s laughter. Cut to BMO, whose controller is being gnawed on by Viola.

BMO: Look! Look!

Jake runs over.

JAKE: Aw, BMO! When was the last time you washed your controller? Ugh.

He picks up Viola and throws BMO’s controller down. Lady Rainicorn comes down. They both turn.

JAKE: Woah!

Finn is with the other four puppies in the kitchen. Charlie and Kim Kil Whan are under his leg. He’s hitting Jake Jr. and T.V. together. The puppies are all laughing. Jake stretches over, sweating, and takes all of the puppies from Finn.

FINN: We were just wrestling! Cool uncle wrestling.

JAKE: Um, uh, I think it's gettin' kinda late. Um, puppies need sleep.

FINN: Okay.

Finn doesn’t move. Lady Rainicorn nudges Jake forward.

JAKE: Uh, Finn, you should go home. I'm gonna live with Lady and the pups from now on. I'm a dad now. It's a pretty big whoop.

Jake and Lady Rainicorn hold hands.

FINN: Oh.

BMO: Psst.

Finn looks down at BMO, who is tugging at his sock.

BMO: Who wants to play video games?

FINN: Yeah, okay. I guess we'll take off.

He picks up BMO and walks away.

JAKE: We'll hang out soon.

FINN: Ah, no prob, Bob. Heh, congrats again.

They leave. BMO returns immediately.

BMO: I'll be right back!

BMO runs out again. Jake kisses each puppy one by one. He goes to kiss Lady Rainicorn, but BMO arrives and jumps to intercept the kiss. BMO leaves again and Jake kisses Lady Rainicorn.

JAKE: I'm gonna be the best dad ever!

He puts on Joshua’s hat.

CUT TO: INT. LADY RAINICORN’S HOUSE, NIGHT

Cut to later that night. Lady Rainicorn is asleep. Jake is holding a sword and watching the puppies sleep from upstairs with binoculars. He looks at his digital clock, which ticks over to 4:17 A.M. He yawns.

JAKE: Breakfast time.

He puts down his things and gets up.

LADY RAINICORN: 자기 지금 뭐하는거야?

JAKE: Sorry honey, I'm on guard duty.

He pats her nose.

JAKE: You're sleepin' for both of us tonight.

Jake takes another look at the pups before heading into the kitchen. He brings out the holo-message player and starts Mom's manual. He speaks into the mic on the player.

JAKE: Breakfast ideas for pups.

A holographic response from Margaret begins playing. As the message plays, Jake begins preparing breakfast.

MARGARET: Recipe for french toast. Ingredients: butter, three large eggs, a wide dash of vanilla, milk, ten slices of bread-white, brown, multi-grain, or country loaf. In a large mixing bowl crack the eggs and whisk the milk-

Jake looks over at the puppies.

JAKE: Hmm.

MARGARET: -vanilla, and all eggs and honey.

Jake walks over to where the puppies are sleeping.

MARGARET: When your consistency is satisfactory, set mixture aside.

He pokes T.V., then picks up his arm and drops it.

MARGARET: Dip bread in the mixture and soak thoroughly. Heat your oven to a high heat-

JAKE: Haha. Kinda like a dead person.

He gets a nervous look on his face as he returns to the kitchen.

MARGARET: -and sauté your egg soaked bread slices till golden-

JAKE: They're just asleep. It's okay. You gotta be a tough dad.

MARGARET: -and toasted and serve hot with sugar, cinnamon sugar, jam, ice cream, meat, whipped cream-

After a moment, he slams an egg onto the counter and knocks over a bowl.

JAKE: Ah!

He goes back to the holo-message player.

JAKE: The puppies aren't moving!

MARGARET: Perform CPR, they might be dead!

JAKE: Ah!

Jake panickedly stretches over to the pups and tries to do CPR on Charlie. The pups wake up, annoyed.

JAKE: Saved 'em! Mom's manual knows best!

CUT TO: INT. LADY RAINICORN’S HOUSE, DAY

Cut to morning. The pups are playing on the floor with a rubber duck. They teleport around and use their horns to change the color of the duck. Jake Jr. stretches her hair into a large duck and pokes T.V. and Viola. Jake gathers them up and puts them on the couch.

JAKE: You guys are getting big. Okay.

He sits on the couch and yawns.

JAKE: Excuse me. Mom's manual suggests that I read you guys a story.

He pulls out a book called "Baby Eating Fox and the Babies."

JAKE: This was your daddy's favorite book when he was cute like you.

He opens the book to its first page. Where his name, "Jake" is written, he adds "'s beautiful puppies," and begins to read.

JAKE: There once were five little babies who were very cute and very chubby. (He turns the page). One day, they met a fox. "I'm so hungry that there must be something wrong with my stomach," said the baby-eating fox. (He becomes more hesitant as he continues reading). "Will one of you babies be so kind as to look inside my belly and see what's wrong?" (He turns the page). "We all will!" said the babies who were as helpful as they were chubby.

He turns the page once more. There’s an illustration of a baby gently lowering itself into the fox’s mouth.

JAKE: This is a lot darker than I remember. Um, gimme a sec.

He gets off the couch and consults Margaret’s guide, holding up the book.

JAKE: Is this appropriate for babies?

The hologram of Margaret gasps and drops a glass bottle.

MARGARET: Get that book out of here!

JAKE: Yeah, okay. Sorry sweeties, Mom's manual says no.

T.V. throws a rubber duck at Jake's hat, which falls off. Jake stretches his head into the shape of a hat to compensate.

LADY RAINICORN: 자기야, 얘들 데리고 나가서 바람 좀 쐬오고 그래?

JAKE: Take 'em out for fresh air, huh?

He stretches up to the window and surveys the nearby landscape.

JAKE: There m- there might be a giant fox out there.

His head drops onto the window-sill and he begins to snore.

JAKE: Or some… some other predator.

He suddenly jolts up. He turns and sees the puppies continuing to read the book on their own.

JAKE: Hey!

He rips the book away. All of the babies gasp.

JAKE: This is not for babies!

He throws the book out the window. It soars the edge of the nearby forest, where Mr. Fox is sleeping. The thud of the book hitting the ground wakes him up.

MR. FOX: Hey, free book.

CUT TO: EXT. FOREST CLEARING, DAY

Mr. Fox runs with the book to a group of foxes. They are resting in a clearing with rocks and an old car.

MR. FOX: H-hey everybody, look! Look at this book I found about eating babies.

The foxes wake up and murmur. Mr. Fox opens to the page with the illustration of the baby entering the fox’s mouth.

MR. FOX: They just sit there while you eat them.

Cut to one of the foxes resting on a boulder.

FOX 1: Woah, eatin' babies.

Cut to another fox who is eating rocks.

FOX 2: Why haven't we been eating babies this whole time?

The fox coughs and spits out the rocks it was eating.

MR. FOX: I don't know, but I'm going to go eat one right now.

The foxes all murmur in agreement.

CUT TO: EXT. FOREST, DAY

Jake has the puppies, now much larger than before, on leashes.

JAKE: Okay everyone, your mom wanted me to take y'all outside.

T.V. bends over and tries to get a flower, but Jake pats him away from it.

JAKE: Uh-uh, be careful.

Charlie flies up to catch a butterfly, but Jake pulls her down.

JAKE: No Charlie, no. Too much germs, you know?

The butterfly glances back, annoyed.

JAKE: Everybody just stick together and don't do anything, (The puppies all groan), and we can all take a nap. Then...

Jake falls asleep, but continues walking. He snores loudly. The puppies all teleport out of their leashes.

After a few moments, Jake walks into a branch, which pokes and wakes him up.

JAKE: Ah!

He coughs and slaps the branch bits out of his face. He opens his eyes and screams. Cut to his view of the puppies. Kim Kil Whan is playing with mushrooms. Charlie is dancing with a frog. T.V. is swinging from a tree branch. Jake Jr. is playing with a sword. Viola is stuck in a tree.

JAKE: Ooh, my Gloob, no! It’s every parent’s worst nightmare! No, no, no!

He runs over to the puppies.

JAKE: Put that down!

T.V. teleports away and Kim Kil Whan runs in the other direction.

JAKE: Get off of there!

Charlie flies away. Jake Jr. runs away. Viola absconds up the tree.

JAKE: Ah, come back!

Cut to a bird’s eye view of the border of the forest near Lady Rainicorn’s house. The puppies all frolic in the grassy area. Jake attempts to corral them.

JAKE: Wait T.V., you're gonna hurt yourself! Charlie, no! Viola, wait!

The camera pulls back to show Lady Rainicorn watching from her house.

LADY RAINICORN: 얘들아! 비올아, 진기새! 그만해! 찰리, 김길완! 아빠좀 그만 괴롭히고 안에 들어와!

The kids all stop and return to the house. Lady flies over to Jake.

JAKE: Hey Lady. These puppies are really wearing me out, you know? I can hardly keep my eyes open.

LADY RAINICORN: 재이크, 자기 혼자 난리 치는 거야. 우리 얘들 걱정 안 해도 돼. 자기가 그냥 과한거야.

JAKE: No, no it's… it's all in the manual, you see... it's...

He begins to mumble and eventually falls asleep. Cut to a view from the tree-line. A group of foxes watches Lady Rainicorn and Jake from a distance.

LADY RAINICORN: 아 아아. 그는 필요 없을 때 소란을 일으킨다.

Lady Rainicorn flies back to the house, leaving Jake asleep in the open.

FOX 1: Is that a baby? He doesn't look right. Why's he so sweaty?

FOX 2: And hairy?

MR. FOX: Look, fellas, there's never gonna be a perfect baby. Times like this, you just gotta dive right in.

The foxes come out of the forest and grab Jake. Cut to inside the house, where Lady Rainicorn is holding Viola.

LADY RAINICORN: Goochy goochy goo!

She looks out the window and sees the Foxes take Jake into the forest. She sighs.

LADY RAINICORN: 얘들아, 가서 아빠좀 도와드려라.

The puppies all fly out the window. Jake comes to as he’s being dragged along the forest floor.

JAKE: What the... What are you doing? Let me go!

He struggles for a moment.

JAKE: Hold on, hold on a minute. Just... just lemme... Y'all better watch out...

He tries to stretch away but is too exhausted, and collapses. As he looks up, he sees his children teleport into view.

JAKE: Puppies? What are you doing? Go back inside! The manual's gonna flip!

JAKE JR.: Dad! The manual's a buncha junk! Just give us a chance.

JAKE: Jake Jr.! You said your first words! "The manual's a buncha junk!" (There’s a beat). The manual's a buncha junk? Hmm.

He has a flashback. He and Margaret are standing in the street while a large snake accosts them. Margaret has the manual out.

MARGARET: Stay back Jakey, my manual says it's too dangerous.

JAKE: Mom, your manual's a buncha junk! Look what I can do!

He stretches his fist to massive size and punches the snake away.

MARGARET: Oh, dear Glob.

Jake laughs. The flashback ends.

JAKE: I'm sorry for being such a little stinker, kids. Come on and show the old man watcha got!

CHARLIE, T.V., VIOLA, KIM KIL WHAN, AND JAKE JR.: 슈퍼!

They rush to the ground, sending up a cloud of dirt. When it clears, they’ve all combined into one form, with Kim Kil Whan stretching to provide the structure of the body while the other four are nestled inside of him.

CHARLIE, T.V., VIOLA, KIM KIL WHAN, AND JAKE JR.: 아빠 몸 이동!

Jake is teleported into Kim Kil Whan as well.

JAKE: Whoa, what the-

CHARLIE, T.V., VIOLA, KIM KIL WHAN, AND JAKE JR.: 무지개 안방!

There’s an explosive flash of colors. The foxes get up, dazed, and find that they have all changed color.

CHARLIE, T.V., VIOLA, KIM KIL WHAN, AND JAKE JR.: 떤더톤!

The puppies, and Jake with them, begin to spin around rapidly, turning into a tornado. Lightning flies out as foxes as the tornado chases them away and knocks down trees. After the foxes are gone, they stop spinning. The puppies all teleport away and then return, leaving them all back in their normal states.

JAKE JR.: Ya see, dad? We flippin' crushed it. Crushed it!

JAKE: You did. I'm super proud y'all and I'm duper sorry too. I've been tryin' to make you know about safety without actually learning about safety the way I did, by not listening to my mom when that snake jumped out of the policeman's boombox.

Lady Rainicorn flies down to the group.

LADY RAINICORN: 얘기들아 참 잘했어! 너네 정말 대단했어.

JAKE: Yup! I've been tryin' to make them about safety without actually learning about safety the way I did, by not listening to my mom when that snake jumped out of the policeman's boombox.

CUT TO: INT. TREEHOUSE, DAY

Cut to an establishing shot of the tree house. BMO is singing. Cut inside. BMO is holding two slices of bread and dancing on Finn, who has BMO’s controller in his mouth and is laughing.

BMO: I said to the bread lady
What happened to your husband?
Is he bread, is he bread
I’ve got all the bread you need

Jake enters.

JAKE: Hey guys. I'm back.

FINN: Is everything okay?

BMO: Did you ruin it?

JAKE: Nah, nah, it's cool. It turns out the pups can pretty much take care of themselves. They don't really need me around.

FINN: Oh.

JAKE: Yeah. I guess rainicorns age really fast. They're basically like older than me already. Kil Whan has a beard now!

FINN: Oh.

JAKE: Ah, it's okay! I got a slammin' family right here too!

He hugs Finn.

JAKE: Plus, all my stuff is here.

END CREDITS