PMS

{*a parody of Naughty By Nature's song "O.P.P."*}

P.M.S., I just can't take it, it's like an earthquake
It takes over her emotions and then breaks it
P is for Pre, M is for Menstrual intervening
The final S has a lot of different meanings
They call it Syndrome but the women say another thing
They often say that it stands for Suffering
But from a male point of view it seems that this will never quit
We say it simply stands for Shit, bust it
Ya ever met a girl you wanna take out on a date?
You get her name and number then go pick her up at 8
You both have fun so you don't want this night with her to end
Then when it does you're makin' plans to go see her again
You're not expecting B to the I to the T to the C to the H
But when she opens up the door she slaps you in the face
'Cause you were just a minute late she flips and thinks you're cheatin'
Looks down at your groin then procedes to kick it
How many guys out there have been through what I just explained?
You're nice to her but go home in excruciating pain?
Well if you have that's P.M.S. and you're now down with it
But if you haven't stay away from it

[Chorus]
Ya down wit' P.M.S.? Yeah you know us!
Ya down wit' P.M.S.? Yeah you know us!
Ya down wit' P.M.S.? Yeah you know us!
Who's down wit' P.M.S.? Every last one of us!

Often ladies with P.M.S go on a rampage
You bes' get out of their way before you get damaged
Bug it's normal, the calm that comes right before the storm
Just like a werewolf, every month they transform
I won't get into that, I'll play it sorta wise but
Ya know what bothers me? Hmmm, advertisements
Here she comes again... (scream)... get the hell
Away from me, now tell me exactly
Have you ever watched a tv show you like and then an ad comes on
You're watchin' football and the ad is for a new tampon
Or see a mother and a daughter say they feel fresh
You'd think the guy was havin' trouble with his P.M.S
Do these commercials hit their mark? Ya know I kinda doubt it
When guys watch football, P.M.S., don't wanna hear about it
It's like the Hair Club ads you see on the Headbanger's Ball
The kids who watch that have got hair that stretches wall to wall
If you agree with me and are stick of this I wanna know
Say "P.M.S." ("P.M.S!") get off my TV show!
Now when you say it say it loud and get your point accross
You're now down with a discharge

[Chorus]

Life, P.M.S. and me, I met a girlie who was sweet
But she turned me into pulvarized meat
It was the third time I saw her when all the trouble started
She tried to kill me in my very own apartment, bust it
I don't know how it happened but she said I hurt her feelings
And then the next thing that I knew she threw me through the ceiling
She grabbed a sledgehammer and then she came right after me
She made me feel liek the writer trapped in Misery
I tried to leave but couldn't leave because of what she'd do
She dragged me up atop the stairs and down the stairs I flew
She said I shouldn't come to visit when she's P.M.S.-ed
She never told me when it happened so I missed my guess
I didn't know this girl had cramps that didn't want to quit
She backed me up against the wall and then she hit and hit
That's rule #1 when this P.M.S. makes her a beast
Just stay the hell away and you may get out in one piece
Pathetic isn't it I wish that I'd be missin' it
But I'm always at home when P.M.S. comes over visitin'
This is the way that it's always been
Oh my God here comes P.M.S. again

[Chorus]