It Sucks to be You

God damn, why don't you get a life
I know beauty is only skin deep, you're right
But ugly goes down to the bone
So how's your love life, still holdin' your own?
Ya know I just saved your rear
I killed a shit eatin' dog on the way over here
Don't get embarrassed, no need to blush
But you're so full of shit that the toilet won't flush
What's that stuff comin' out of your toes
Yo, you got a big green thing on the end of your nose
As for looks you're a gonner
So ugly no dog would ever want to piss on you
The I.Q. of a slug
Got hit by a cup and said you got mugged
And I really think it's funny
That you sold the car when you needed gas money
You're hopeless man, you ain't got no class
So fat it takes two trips just to haul ass
And for your first kiss you had to beg
Couldn't get laid if you were made like an egg
And when's the last time you showered
Man you smell like you died back in 1985
I guess there's nothing I can do
But I tell you one thing, man, it must suck to be you

When you were born the doctor slapped your mother
And thought the afterbirth was gonna be your twin brother
And you grew up broke
And nobody fixed you so now you're a joke
Because you're just so wide
That when you walk down the street there ain't no other side
And you were just outta luck
When you jumped in the air and your ass got stuck
Took a trip went to visit Japan
And they thought Godzilla came back again
Your house redefines the bad mess
I can't believe that you failed your blood test
I got some bad news for ya, don't cry
I told your mom to act her age and the bitch died
What diseases you got? Man I heard that
During phone sex the hoes make you wear a jimmy hat
Now I'm not trying to be rude
But you don't get crabs from eatin' sea food
And if you wanna clean your ears, my God
Buy some Q-Tips, quit usin' tampons
You don't sweat much for a fat bastard
Put your car in drive and it might go faster
Go play in traffic if you got nothing else to do
Damn, it's really gotta suck to be you