Pays to Be an Animal

[GRANDPA]
When you're growing up as a youngun buck
And the daddy yak shows you how to cluck
And you're taught one day that the clucking comes to an end
Whoa!

It's a glass half full of scotch approach
Like the mommy cub teaches her goats
If you live or you're shot in the head it all depends

Sometimes it pays to be an animal
Sometimes don't
Sometimes it pays to be an animal
Sometimes don't

And when you wake up with blood on your dick
And you don't even know where it came from
Sometimes it pays to be an animal
Sometimes don't

There are stories told of man's fall from grace
He rapes the land just so he can ate
But stories suck so fuck 'em right in the face

And even if you put on weight
Just poop it out and refill your plate
Cause the older you get the more you hibernate

Sometimes it pays to be an animal
Sometimes don't
Sometimes it pays to be an animal
Sometimes don't

And when you wake up with blood on your dick
And you don't even know where it came from
Sometimes it pays to be an animal
Sometimes don't

(spoken)
Alright, now get 'em! Right over there! Shoot 'em - point blank range! Get 'em right there!

[DAUGHTER, spoken]
Shoot 'em!

[BUFFALOES, sung]
Don't shoot us
Don't shoot us please
Don't shoot us
Don't shoot us please!

[SON, spoken]
Oh God, if you're up there - please let me miss!

(GUN SHOT)

[BUFFALO MOM, spoken]
Ughhghh

[SON, spoken]
Oh, no...

[BABY BUFFALO, spoken]
Momma!

[BUFFALO DAD, spoken]
Honey! Honey, no! Please God, noo!
I'll kill you son of a bi-

(GUN SHOT)

[BABY BUFFALO, spoken]
Oh, papa! Oh no, I better get out of here - if only I could get my shaky legs to run for the first time! Oops, I slipped

(sung)
Now listen brother, you don't wanna do this
I just lost my mom and dad for dick
Deep down I know there's a heart inside that head
Whoa...

And if you're really that goddamn hungry
Just eat my parents right in front of me
And I'll raise my buffalo friends to seek revenge

[ALL]
Sometimes it pays to be an animal
Sometimes don't
Sometimes it pays to be an animal
Sometimes don't

[BABY BUFFALO]
But when you wake up with blood on your dick
And you don't even know where it came from

(Spoken)
Just do it motherfuck-

[GRANDPA]
Sometimes it pays to be an animal
Sometimes don't...

[DAUGHTER AND SON]
Sometimes it pays to be an animal
Sometimes don't
Sometimes it pays to be an animal
Sometimes don't

[GRANDPA]
You wake up with blood on your dick
In a pool of your vomit
Picking turds off your ass
Your whole breakfast is grass

You got mud on your shoes
Holy hell they're fucking hooves
Your hind legs are sore
Yeah that's right, you've got four

And you don't even know her damn name

[DAUGHTER, spoken]
Sing it, grandpa!

[GRANDPA, spoken]
Alright, good shooting there Craphole, looks like you got about 2000 pounds there. Between the three of us, we can carry back about... 20. We'll leave the rest to rot out in the sun

(sung)
Sometimes it pays to be an animal
Sometimes
Don't