Parlor Songs

[BEADLE]
Sweet Polly Plunkett lay in the grass
Turned her eyes heavenward, sighing
"I am a lass who alas loves a lad
Who alas has a lass in Canterbury
'Tis a row dow diddle dow day
'Tis a row dow diddle dow dee..."

[MRS. LOVETT, spoken]
Oh, Beadle Bamford, I didn't know you was a music lover, too.

[BEADLE, spoken]
Oh, when I saw this dear old song book I couldn't resist.
(sung)
Sweet Polly Plunkett saw her life pass
Flew down the city road, crying
"I am a lass who alas loves a lad
Who alas has a lass loves another lad
Who once I had
In Canterbury
'Tis a row dow diddle dow day
'Tis a row dow diddle dow dee ..."
(spoken)
Well, ma'am, I hope you have a few moments. You see there's been complaints.

[MRS. LOVETT, spoken]
Complaints?

[BEADLE, spoken]
It's about the stink from your chimney. Just a routine inspection of course. Ah, one of mother's favorites...
(sung)
If one bell rings in the Tower of Bray
Ding dong! Your true love will stay
Ding dong! One bell today
In the Tower of Bray...
Ding dong!
(spoken)
Anyway ma'am, health regulations being my duty, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to let me take a look.

[MRS. LOVETT, spoken]
At the bakehouse?

[BEADLE, spoken]
That's right, ma'am.

[MRS. LOVETT, spoken]
Oh, but it's locked you see, and I don't have the key. Mr. Todd, he's got the key, and he's not here right now.

[BEADLE, spoken]
When will he be back?

[MRS. LOVETT, spoken]
Well I couldn't say I'm sure.

[BEADLE, spoken]
Then we'll just have to wait for him ma'am.
(sung)
But if two bells ring in the Tower of Bray
Ding dong, ding dong! Your true love will stray
Ding dong..

[BEADLE]
Ding dong! Two bells today
In the T—

[TOBIAS]
Ding dong! Two bells today
In the Tower of Bray...
Ding dong, ding dong!

[BEADLE, spoken]
What's that?

[MRS. LOVETT, spoken]
Oh, oh that's just the lad what helps me with the pies.

[BEADLE, spoken]
But surely he's in the bakehouse, then isn't he?

[MRS. LOVETT, spoken]
Oh yes, yes, oh yes of course! But you see, last week he run off and we found him two days later down by the embankment half-starved, poor thing. So ever since then, we locks him in for his own security. Oh! Do have a try at the third bell, it always touches my heart.

[BEADLE]
If three bells ring in the Tower of Bray—
(spoken)
Oh, since you're a fellow music lover, ma'am, why not raise your voice along with mine?

[MRS. LOVETT, spoken]
All right.

[BEADLE]
Ding dong!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Ding dong!

[BEADLE]
Ding dong!

[BEADLE & MRS. LOVETT]
Your love's gone away

[BEADLE]
Ding dong!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Ding dong!

[BEADLE & TOBIAS]
Ding dong!

[BEADLE]
Three bells today

[BEADLE & MRS. LOVETT]
In the Tower of Bray...

[BEADLE & TOBIAS]
Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong!

[BEADLE]
If four bells ring in Tower of—

[MRS. LOVETT, spoken]
How many bells are there?

[BEADLE, spoken]
Twelve.
(sung)
Ding dong!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Ding dong!

[TOBIAS]
Ding dong!

[BEADLE]
Ding dong!

[BEADLE, MRS. LOVETT & TOBIAS]
Then lovers must pray!

[BEADLE]
Ding dong!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Ding dong!

[TOBIAS]
Ding dong!

[BEADLE]
Ding dong!

[BEADLE & TOBIAS]
Four bells today
In the Tower of Bray...

[BEADLE, MRS. LOVETT & TOBIAS]
Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong

[BEADLE & TOBIAS]
Ding dong!