One Normal Night

WEDNESDAY:
They're normal people
Not like you
Not like me
Please, can't we be an average family?

One normal night
That's all I want
That's all I need from you
One normal house
Without a mouse
To feed a plant or two
You must admit we aren't what people call "laid back"
So can't we muse a bit, and lose the basic black?
Whoa, one normal night
With normal people on their way
Just one normal night
(spoken)
What do you say?

MORTICIA:
One normal night?

WEDNESDAY:
To be polite
To do the least you can

GOMEZ (spoken):
One normal eve?

WEDNESDAY:
Can you achieve
A kind of common man?

You have to swear to me
Yes, promise to the core
It's almost six o'clock
They're almost at the door!
On all the Addams ancestors
Who've ever walked aright
One normal night!

ANCESTORS:
Doo doo do doo doo doo do doo doo doo doo do do doo

LUCAS (spoken):
Wait! This is the place where I first saw her! Wednesday, with a crossbow. And she looked like Diana The Huntress!

MAL (spoken):
Who?

ALICE (spoken):
He's just expressing himself, dear. 'Expressing is the poet's art. Just simply say what's in your heart.'

MAL (spoken):
Lucas, your mother's rhyming again. I say we take a rain check and go back to the hotel.

LUCAS (spoken):
No!
(sung)
One normal night
No, not one poem
Not one inspiring word
One normal scene
Complete routine
Tonight can't be absurd
Please don't embarrass me
Or be completely rude
Don't make a fuss about the house
About the food
Whoa! One normal night
I know it's big but can't you see
This one normal night is for me!

FESTER (spoken):
He seems like a nice young man!

ANCESTORS (spoken):
They're not right for each other/He's from Ohio/It'll never work

FESTER (spoken):
Not right for each other?! What do you mean, "They're not right for each other?"
Was Napoleon right for Josephine?
Was nausea right for Dramamine?
Were the 80's right for the drum machine
Who's to say?
Who's to say?
Was ballet right for Balanchine?
Was Polio right for the Salk vaccine?
Were you folks right for the mezzanine?
Who's to say?

(sung)
One normal night is a perilous trick
Normal is hard to attain
Children are crazy and parents are quick
Passions are hard to explain
But this is their moment and this is your chance
So if you don't want to remain
Start singing of love

ANCESTORS:
What?

No!

Why?

Ugh

Bringing them love

Love

Love

Love
FESTER:

Love!

Love!

Love!

Only affairs of the heart
(spoken)
Your turn-

Yes!

Yes!

Right!

Good!
FESTER:
Love lets your spirits depart
So let the normalcy start!

FESTER/ANCESTORS:
Protect and rally round
Let's aid them and abet
One normal night is what they'll

FESTER:
Get!

ADDAMS FAMILY/ANCESTORS:
One normal night
One normal night
One normal night
Wednesday wants
One normal night
One normal night
Give her just
One normal night
One normal night
One normal night
Wednesday wants

GOMEZ/MORTICIA/ANCESTORS:
One

FESTER/ANCESTORS:
One

GRANDMA/PUGSLEY/ANCESTORS:
One

WEDNESDAY:
One

ADDAMS
FAMILY/ANCESTORS:
One normal night
We comprehend
We'll tend her every need

WEDNESDAY:
All I want, all I ask

You'll tend my every need
BEINEKES
When we arrive
We'll come alive
To make this night succeed

LUCAS:
Just be respectable
Don't make an odd remark

MAL/ALICE:
Okay, okay

WEDNESDAY:
Keep undetectable our passion for the dark

ADDAMS FAMILY/ANCESTORS:
Just as you say

WEDNESDAY/LUCAS:
And then it's paradise
Right here in Central Park

ALL:
In one normal
Informal
One normal

[The doorbell rings.]

ALL:
Night!