Never Been to Meath

[Verse 1]
Hey missus! You, missus
You've been cursin' at me van
But I'm an independent turkey
Sure I'm your only man

Now I'm troublin'
Spent too long in Dublin
And that must concede
That the city's nice
But I want paradise
And that paradise is Meath

[Chorus 1]
Oh I've been to Boher and Kilfenora
And other places that are no fun
Stole a rasher from a butcher in Cashel
And now I'm on the run
Cause I've been run out of places
For payin' with pesos that look like the new ten pees
I've been to Tullamore
But I've never been to Meath

[Verse 2]
Hey missus! Listen, missus
Stop honkin' on your horn
Because I'm dreaming of the county Meath
And a semi in Ashbourne
I went to Athlone
Can you blame that I'm home?
After what I've seen
The gloria trip
Because after that
Even Mitchelstown looks grim

[Chorus 2]
Oh I've heard that Newgrange is kind of strange
And that Navan's the place for me
I'll get a tan in Balbriggan
And go swimming in the sea
You'll see lots of faces at the Laytown races
It's better than Galway, agreed
I've been to Bagenalstown
But I've never been to Meath

[Bridge]
Oh yeah, Meath
It's the heart
It's the beat of the country
It's the love that flows
It's that fortnight you've been promising yourself in Bettystown
It's the day trip to Mosney
It's the royal county
It's the all-Ireland replays
Oh, it's Meath
It's beautiful
Ahh... it's just... it was made for me
It's the Book of Kells
It's the monks who writ it
Who coloured in the ink
Could it be?
Could it be the real capital?

[Chorus 3]
I went to Gorey and told me story
To a farmer with rotten teeth
Did a bit of knickin' in Termonfeckin
Capped just off Men's Street[?]
Oh there's thirty-two counties in this fair Isle
But there's only one of which we're all agreed

I've been to Twomileborris (I've been to Twomileborris)
I've been to Cloughjordan
But I've never been to Meath

I've been to Fivemilebridge (I've been to Fivemilebridge)
I've been to Ballyhooly
But I've never been to Meath

I've been to Watergrasshill (I've been to Watergrasshill)
I've been to Fairyhouse
But I've never been to Meath

I've been to Borris-in-Ossory (I've been to Borris-in-Ossory)
I've been to Ballycumber
But I've never been to Meath