More Bull

[Verse 1]
Two o'clock, just out of bed
I like to catch what's left of the afternoon
I'm an early bird meself
Went outside, waitin' on the bus
An hour late, some things never change
Got off the bus just outside, ah, Trinity College there where all them horrible students go
Bit low on cash, decided to make meself a bit of money
Saw a couple of them American lads walking down the road
"Good day to you, sir! I'm a direct descendant of Daniel O'Donnell thе emancipator. There's a statuе of me over there"
He asked what emancipation was
I said, "nothin' a good dose of milk of magnesia wouldn't get rid of"
Anyway, I says to him, "wanna buy the Book of Kells?"
He said he'd be interested
"Wait here"
Nipped around to Fred Hanna's
"Fred, give us another one of them Book of Kells there"
Went back, he'd gone
Stuck with the Book of Kells

[Chorus 1]
Ah, me oul one always told me
There'd be days like this

[Verse 2]
Decided to do a bit of work for charity
Saw a couple of culchies, said hello to them
Ah you have to put yourself out sometimes
But I still was fulfilled so I said I'd do a bit more
Saw one of them lads selling the Big Issue
They're fierce hard to haggle with
Ended up payin' full price last time
Moseyed on down around the corner to Molesworth Street
Another posh area
Passport office
I wasn't actually goin' anywhere
I just felt like queuin' for eight and a half hours
Finally got up to the counter
Your one says to me, "fifty quid"
I says, "fifty quid?"
I says, "I don't have to pay for the holiday as well you know"
She says to me, "that photo looks nothin' like you"
I says to her, "of course it looks nothin' like me, it's Daniel O'Donnell, the emancipator. Have to have somethin' to fool the tourists with"
She says, "I'm callin' the guards, I'm goin' to have you arrested"
I says, "don't have to call the guards. I can get meself arrested by meself. I think"
She called security
Out the back door

[Chorus 2]
Ah, me oul one always told me
There'd be days like this

Shimmied across the way, across Grafton Street up to the Powerhouse Town Centre
Great comedy on there
The prices are anyway
Went into one of the boutiques
"Hi missus, ya can't charge five hundred quid for a pair of curtains"
"They're not curtains," she says, "it's a dress"
Well, I don't have to stand for it, I'm going back to the real people
The real Dubs, the salt of the earth
So I went down to Henry Street
Got robbed
Back up to Stephen's Green
There's a load of flowers lying idle
"Anyone for the last few freshly picked daffodils now?"
"Anyone for the last few freshly picked daffodils now?"
Made a few quid
Hopped on the old DART
Makin' me way out to Skerries
Lookin' forward to a nice night
Got out
Skerries was... closed

[Chorus 3]
Ah, mam always told me
There'd be days like this
Yeah, mam always told me
There'd be days like this