Living Nightmare

[Verse 1]
Although I’m not particularly fond of confrontation
This method most effectively gathers attention
I didn’t ask and surely don’t need permission
To oppose hostility and egregious condescension
Let me feel emotion / Know genuine admiration
Earn acknowledgement / Welcome praise for contributions
Be awarded on occasion / Savor satisfaction
Enjoy kind sentiments / Experience real affection
Do I have to be deprived of basic necessities
Common sights seen I regard as rarities
Nobody finds me enticing / They aren’t discreet
How would they like to be in a pit this deep
Reach and obtain this transference of pain
Hold the emptiness / The loneliness I bare each day
Are you losing your breath / Can you taste death
Tremble at my distress / A fraction of my struggle's depth

[Chorus]
Trust the process
It’s making me nauseous
Look under the surface
What is my purpose
In a scary place where I don’t feel
In a mind state that I won’t heal
It’s such a difficulty being me
Inner peace is elusive to say the least
So dissociated from humanity
Will this Living Nightmare ever cease

[Verse 2]
A prime example of purity and innocence
Gradually blackened from tragedies in abundance
Blue sadness and red fury painted throughout
Vandalism of harsh words engraved the self doubt
How many times was I reminded I’ll never have what I’ve wanted
Those same desires were flaunted in my face / Now I’m haunted
At some point most people find someone invaluable
When they’re gone you learn that not everyone is replaceable
Others departing is a gift in disguise
Realize there are parasites who hide in plain sight
People might appreciate when a person is nice
Then forget it overnight / Wait for their moment to strike
Act out of spite / Cut you off without thinking twice
Although it’s not right / It’s their loss of delight
Invite genuine people into your life
If only I’d follow my own advice

[Chorus]
Trust the process
It’s making me nauseous
Look under the surface
What is my purpose
In a scary place where I don’t feel
In a mind state that I won’t heal
It’s such a difficulty being me
Inner peace is elusive to say the least
So dissociated from humanity
Will this Living Nightmare ever cease

[Verse 3]
Existing is a punishment instead of a victory
Existing is a punishment instead of a victory
Existing is a punishment and I’m ready to end my sentence

Surrounded by fallacies, detrimental anomalies
When I think about abandoning
I’m in disbelief and wrongly cling
To a unity, but I must be
Emotionally damaged to see
A possibility of it being good for me
I’m on the brink / Save me from my self esteem
Melancholy is the only one showing me loyalty
Kindness is deemed as weak
Perfection is not a strength
Outcast cause I’m unique
Underground is my peak
No route for me to flee
Hope is out of reach
No repairing my psyche
To this destiny I concede

[Chorus]
Trust the process
It’s making me nauseous
Look under the surface
What is my purpose
In a scary place where I don’t feel
In a mind state that I won’t heal
It’s such a difficulty being me
Inner peace is elusive to say the least
So dissociated from humanity
Will this Living Nightmare ever cease