Livin’ At The Corner Of Dude & Catastrophe

Where I’m livin’, it’s hard to say
Wasting my time at the corner of dude and catastrophe
Where I’m livin’, it’s hard to say
But I feel fine at the corner of dude and catastrophe

Woke up by the pool again
Must have played the fool again
Wonder what them hooligans put on the grill that stinks
Kind of like burnt fur and regurg’ed drinks
With an undertone of the acorn
And leather that’s laid on
Thick like Liz Claiborne
Step over with big trepidation
Lift up the top off the meat cooking station
To discover my homie Todd!
I said “Oh my God
What grim façade
Do you meet me with in my wakefulness?”
I had too many Stellas and they all was crisp;
Must I rise up in the morning with my squirrel desisted
From the world? Insisted, as I did
This instant, that
Him up in heaven again is premature?
If only reality would concur!
Poke him with the tongs. Dude won’t wake up
Put him on the lawn; Ray’s about to cook a steak up
And this ain’t no kind of mausoleum
Got to get the high degree on
Todd’s onomatopoeia
Got already all used up — I mean he sizzled —
Ain’t nothing left but char, bone, and gristle
My heart is fissile: I mean it could break
Like crystal; he never learned to whistle. Don’t wake
His cadaver up, wassamadda with your mind?
He ain’t a lawn clipping. We been knuckleheads since old times
Dig out the batting helmet and the bat
‘cause we’re all about to have a funeral, and that’s that
We’ll do it after breakfast. We’ll do it up proper
We’ll drop all his ashes out the Airwolf copter
All singing up dirges, all spreading out blossoms
And it’s gonna b-b-b-be frikkin’ awesome!

Where I’m livin’, it’s hard to say
Wasting my time at the corner of dude and catastrophe
Where I’m livin’, it’s hard to say
But I feel fine at the corner of dude and catastrophe

Six bong rips later: we ain’t going to the helipad
Standin’ ‘round hella sad
Wonder where them Stellas at
All these dudes ain’t huge on sentiment
Still they want to say a little something to the benefit
Of layin’ Todd’s soul to rest
I cold regressed, contemplated old regrets
And said, “Man why he even got to do a thing
Like pass out on the Bar-B-King?”
I’m tryin’ to bring from like recesses in my mind
A word or two that wouldn’t prove unkind
Aligned as he was with the less-than-angelic
Trafficking black tar smack & psychedelics
In that little-ass van of his, and drunk doing it
Knowing what the right thing to do was but eschewing it
It’d seem pretty probable
Flames are audible:
That’s the duty that Todd’ll pull
Not just in death, but in after-that
Like the bat out the h-e-double-vertical-slat
But inbound in the case of this rodent
Like when he got peeled-out on and ‘sploded
Or in fact when he got shanked in the joint —
Hella causing me to wonder if there’s even a point
To our shepherdly tending of his life’s ending
Bet he’s chilling at Friendly’s
And gonna be back in the neighborhood shortly
Discussing how awesome it is to be portly
Reporting the slant he just got on with Blister
(drank till his wrists hurt
Boned the ghost of your sister)
The dude’s a bucket kickster when he has to be
And this one wasn’t like a masterpiece
So yes we’re depressed but not drastically...
Livin’ at the corner of dude and catastrophe

Where I’m livin’, it’s hard to say
Wasting my time at the corner of dude and catastrophe
Where I’m livin’, it’s hard to say
But I feel fine at the corner of dude and catastrophe
I’ll just wait, waving goodbye until the next time
I’ll just wait, waving goodbye until the next time