Just a Note From The Creator Of All Of This

[Verse 1]
You could find me in a shallow grave
I don't know what to make of this
'Cause when I look back 3 years
I was just skin and bones
Not a dollar to my name
Leaking blood for the hell of it
Thought that was the end of it
I didn't know how sick I was
I kept trying to find comfort
Knowing I should let it find me
Tryna force love to work
And that plan backfired
I could barely lift my arms
Or keep a simple meal down
My heart never shut up
Telling me to call it quits
I never feel sentimental
'Cause it sucks when I reminisce
I remember every overdose
Lying in my bathroom
I rеmember when shе grabbed
Showing off her scars
Asked me if I loved her
Knowing I was scared too
I tried to find love in that
I know, I was a fool
But from the outside looking in
I never had a view like that
Or I could bring up that lunch break
When she climbed on top of me
I had my mouth covered
But who would wanna hear that?

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 2]
Impulsive liar when I don't get what i want
Saying sorry to my friends
'Cause I don't know how to act
I wanna be special
I want to seem serious
How many empty bottles will it take
'Til you know I'm trying?
I used to pack it all in
And swear to never tell a soul
I bang my head through the wall
And tell stories with my arms
I was paranoid and schizophrenic
Hearing voices tell me
That my friends would kill me someday soon
I couldn't find a lie in that
There's a lot I never say
And even more I never show
But honestly, that's fine with me
Another secrets fine with me
I don't know how to open up
I just spill and hope they clean it up
I'm a mess through and through
That's why I never talk now
I'm sorry for the note I wrote
And shipped to your parents house
I really thought I was going then
I didn't mean to make it
Would it be better if I went on
So it didn't seem disingenuous?
You swore to never talk to me
And that's the only time you kept your word