I Love You, But You’re Standing On My Foot

When I saw you standing there
In your lacy underwear
I knew I was in the ladies' dressing room
And now I've seen it all
And they kicked me out of the mall
But it was wonderful

Now we got a lot to talk about
Yeah, I know, yeah, but when we're hanging out
Always seems like you're having a cow

'Cause I love you
I love you
I love you, but you're standing on my foot

There's got to be some way
For you and me to act our age
And maybe make a change
Where will we be next year?
Still sitting here and drinking beer
And watching Mr. Belvedere

And I know it's not much of a life
You're in color, I'm in black and white
But we play Parcheesi every Saturday night
And that's all right

'Cause I love you
I love you
I love you, but you're standing on my foot
Yeah, yeah

And you were wearing your hat that said
"God, guts, and guns made America free, let's keep all three"
And you were smiling
But I could see your disappointment
And a piece of something green stuck between your teeth

I said, "I'm so impressed"
You said, "Surely you jest"
I said, "Yes, but stop calling me Shirley
Stop calling me Shirley
Stop calling me Shirley
It's not my name"

I love you
I love you
I love you, but you're standing on my foot

I love you, but you're standing on my foot
Yeah, yeah