I’ll Always Be On Top

(Song)
[CRAIG]
I got a mansion in the Hamptons, I got a bungalow upstate
I got a penthouse just for fuckin' and another where I masturbate
The money just keeps rollin’ in, the good times never stop
There's never been a man like me, and I'll always be on top

[TREVOR]
My cock is fuckin’ massive, it always makes the ladies sore
It's 10 inches long, curves to the left, then it goes 10 inches more
I got girls and cash, cars and booze, I'm the cream of the fuckin' crop
There's never been a man like me, and I'll always be on top

[BOTH]
I'm the best
So fucking blessed

[CRAIG]
Sexy, smart, it's just not fair

[TREVOR]
Pussy, pussy everywhere

[BOTH]
I get what I want, and what I’ve got I want
And those people think it’s strange
No one's gonna make me change

(Spoken)
[CRAIG]
Craig Tittle!

[TREVOR]
Trevor Brock!

[CRAIG]
Take it you’re here from the uptown branch?

[TREVOR]
My reputation precedes me! Nope, never heard of you

[CRAIG]
Actually, I'm the one who's never heard of you, so...

[TREVOR]
Well, you shoulda heard of me, 'cause I’m the Number 1 salesman this company's got

[CRAIG]
Hate to break it to you, buddy, but last time I checked, I was Number 1. Craig Tittle's always on top

[TREVOR]
You might be on top of a sex offender's registry, but I'm always the best salesman

[CRAIG]
Fuck you, pal! I've had a record month! While you've been in bed milking your morning wood, I've been pounding the pavement making sales!

[TREVOR]
You think I can't make sales and jerk off at the same time? You got another thing coming, because

(Song)
[BOTH]
I always get the things I want, there's no way I can flop
There's never been a man like me, and I'll always be
I'll always be
I'll always be on top

[OFFICE WORKERS]
Craig Tittle's fucking awesome, Trevor Brock is off the chart
They talk a lot about their dicks and they sell fucking Vroomba parts

[BOTH]
You will never take me down, I'll work until I drop
There's never been a man like me, and I'll always be on top

[CRAIG]
Fifteen thousand gears!

[OFFICE WORKERS]
Money money money money money money money money

[TREVOR]
Twenty thousand wheels!

[OFFICE WORKERS]
Money money money money money money money money

[CRAIG]
Thirty thousand gears!

[TREVOR]
Forty thousand wheels!

[GLORIA]
I love fuckin' money!

[OFFICE WORKERS]
Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be?

[BOTH]
One hundred thousand teeny tiny brushes!

(Dance break)

[BOTH]
Look around, it's plain to see
There's never been a man like me
'Cause I'm the fucking top!