Hemorrhage (Red Mercury)

[Intro: Coal Cash]
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yo. Red Mercury. Vril. What up, Larro?

[Verse 1: Coal Cash]
Can’t fill
These empty holes, stare at clowns on the steady low
And undertows dragged down by our heavy souls
Burn every coal that we hold, chasing our fantasies
Insanity’s pursued just to feud and noose humanity
Families removed, and our attitude is vanity
Profanities abused, and I’m starting to lose the man in me
Choose calamity, thinking our solution is anarchy
Standardly, the motto we swallow to follow frantically
Sycophantic antics, semantics of anthropology
Technology we advance for the dance with the Devil solemnly
Colonies futuristic, the mechanistic simplistic
For the narcissistic rants of hypnotic-entranced dipshits
Equipped with a quick fact, but you quick pass anachronistic
A mystic perhaps, but the gaps in your synapse missed it
Resisted collapse, can’t stand my house on this dead earth
So much sand in my mouth, I’m about to spit a desert
I severed from bonds I would have died to preserve
It’s absurd at how we try just to deny what we were
Stirring the sediment of regret deep in the marrow
The bottom’s an apex when you’re underneath the barrel
No wonder why Larro made melodies out of his misery
Physically carved with sorrow for tomorrows we won’t live to see
It lives in me, all the things I would give to be
Free from the burdens and the perversions that imprison me
I feel invisibly shrouded, I am rounded by
An open-path parade from the ways that I vowed it
I am the rays that were clouded, crowded by
An overcast, dismayed from the days that I doubted
I gave away though it’s valid, my palette thrown
In trash—when it’s red, you might say I allowed it
I spend my days thinking how we cowered to
A lower class, display when I slay the empowered
I am the rain when it showers, fly with the disdain
In my brain from the pain that it flowered
I ain’t the same since the hour the tower of
Your frame left this plane. Engrave in your name—rest in power
This is the change in the season, it’s the reason I explain
Internal shames to make the change I believe in
These are the stains I was bleeding, these are demons feeding
On pain that I’ve gained, I’m ashamed ‘cause I need ‘em
This is the path that I’m leading, this is leaving before
My wrath turns to ash, all I craft during dreaming
This is the epitaph’s opus, this is the closest I have
Gotten to the bottom, this is stopping to smell the roses
The process of focus, this is gnosis that rains
From my heartstrings, thinking on things I hold closest
This is my soul in a solstice, this is holding my kids
Close to my chest before my day of death approaches
This is the way of osmosis from atrocious sins
Of flesh that I repped when I kept being bogus
This is my notice to you. I am sorry for
Who I’ve been, realizing that it’s been long overdue
Telling you lies like they’re true, I abused both
Your eyes, made ‘em cry as you denied what you knew
This is me telling the truth, this is a closet full
Of skeletons shook by the elephant’s shoe

[Bridge: Coal Cash]
So this is reflections of all I hailed and then painted black
This is recollections of betrayals, I can’t take ‘em back
This is the deceptions I detailed and every tainted fact
This is resurrection of how I failed trying to make it back
These are these apologies my stubbornness would never speak
This is filth I’m covered with and suffered with, it severed deep
This is the disgustingness I lusted with, it never sleeps
This is who you trusted in, another him—it isn’t me

[Verse 2: Coal Cash]
Self-sabotage, felt shelled in a stealth camouflage
Façades that’ll melt when you’re felt with Hell’s cattle prod
I ride myself for the wealth and then haggle God
Paddle-flog myself, making shrapnel out of gavel knob
Don’t apple-bob forbidden fruit that slid into
A fitted noose thought as a prized ribbon of a hidden truth
I’m living proof every decision that I’ve bitten through
And didn’t chew knew from the position in my wisdom tooth
We misconstrue and wish we knew while arguing
With different views, then threw it away to say it isn’t true
I’m split in two, dynamics of polar opposites
Dichotomous mechanics, my antics are covert operatives
I am provocative, ain’t trying to live with ostriches
Or hostages of fear—I am nowhere near cooperative
I’m not an optimist, I’m waiting for apocalypse
Where the rich lift off in shiny coffins called a rocket ship
I am the pot to piss in, holding ones within
Wishing for countertops or another spot in the kitchen
Coal’s a missing piece, won’t fit in the puzzle picture
Snake bite—told you there’ll be trouble when it bit ya
I am no witch, a matrix glitch of the perception-shifter
The grifter’s deception, sharing his life reflection with ya
The same depicter, I’m deranged from a tainted mixture
Of pain and bloodstains, spray from my veins when I paint a picture
I am insane and sicker, bitter mouth with thunder speech
A bullshitter, so dig me out from what I’m underneath
My son’s bequeathed with a rage of my distorted pride
Tied to the trait, manipulations in my daughter’s cries
I swore to rise from my life of the master conner
I love my wife and never wanna be a bastard father
My path is harder from all of the wrath I harbor
I grab at my mask when my tendencies ask, “Why bother?”
I play the martyr. Am I smarter than my villain side?
Deny the deceptions, see my reflection in my children’s eyes
Am I still inside or have I taken up a vacancy
Of what latency brings, and I’m finally a king of make-belief?
I have a great belief they feasting on complacency
And patiently wait in every place that it was taking me
The human bakery full of my pain’s pasteries
A tasty buffet, I feel like demons are basting me
It lays waste to me, I fell from grace hastily
I’m trying to keep faith that Heaven’ll have a place for me
So wait for me. I shouldn’t have broke the oath I spoke to you
I hope that you forgive me from the litanies we’ve spoken through
I know you hear me, and I wanna state it clearly
I’m sorry I cheated and proceeded to let it steer me
I know you’re weary of what you dug through to clear me
I thank God you’re still near me ‘cause I love you sincerely

[Hook: Coal Cash] (x6)
I’m trying to find my way again so I can speak truth in what I
Say to them, I’m just trying to find my way again

[Outro: Coal Cash]
I’m just trying to find my way again
Trying to find my way again
Trying to find my way again