Hate to Love You

[Verse 1 - Bumps Inf]
It always starts oh so innocent
Growth so slow that you won't show discipline
But watch how it rocks you to sleep
Might not even blink, but like most folks listenin'
Don't know this is when
What you thought was a shoulder rub really was a choke hold slippin' in
Oh, no, I'll never do this again
But I'm in a predicament that I ain't got no business in
Every bad decision that I've made literally pushes me another inch or two away
Of the version of myself I've envisioned in my brain
Free to go, but I'm livin' like a prisoner in chains
Addictions are the same, only when it comes to pain
Because I hit it, but it never did get rid of anything
I know it sounds ridiculous to say, but I need you God if it's gonna change

[Chorus - Evan Ford]
I put my trust in you - blind
You lеt me down every timе
And I swear I hate that I love you
Yeah, I hate that I love you
I nearly ended my life
You put those thoughts in my mind
And I swear I hate that I love you
Yeah, I hate that I love you

[Verse 2 - Bumps Inf]
The first lie that usually is told
Or the one that suddenly gets rooted in your soul
Is like this false confidence you get when you old
I refer to it as the illusion of control
Like "I can quit this any time that I want"
Knowin' good and darn well that's an obvious front
You lyin' for what? Why would you deny that you stuck?
After all them times you've already tried to get up
But fell right back down every time on your butt
Man I'm startin' to think that you like when it's rough
Life, when it's tough, it's easy justifying this stuff
A sly little way to give your addict mind what it wants
But how many times in a month can I go to God and ask to get me out of this rut?
His responses have been silence, so if I'm bein' honest
I'm just holdin' on, tryin' not to give up

[Chorus - Evan Ford]
I put my trust in you - blind
You let me down every time
And I swear I hate that I love you
Yeah, I hate that I love you
I nearly ended my life
You put those thoughts in my mind
And I swear I hate that I love you
Yeah, I hate that I love you