Harry Freakin’ Potter

[JOEY, spoken]
Hey, Dylan!

[DYLAN, spoken]
Hey, what?

[JOEY]
You're Harry freakin' Potter!
You don't understand
You're a legend, man
To us all

Every son and daughter

[STARKIDS]
Safe!

[JOEY]
From You-Know-Who
All because of you
You were small
But I wonder
If you can recall

Long story short
This guy
Voldemort
Was super cruel...

[DYLAN, spoken]
Wait, Voldemort?

[ENSEMBLE gasps]
Shhh!

[JOEY]
He tried to kill you
And your parents
And this is where it
Gets intensely cool

Even though you were
A tiny little boy
You shoulda died but you
Survived and then destroyed
This evil guy and it's
A story we enjoy to tell

[JOEY & STARKIDS]
You're Harry freakin' Potter!
We don't prefer
Gandalf
Merlin, or Oz

You're a whole lot hotter
With that lighting scar
You're a superstar to us all
If we're in trouble
We know who to call

[JAIME]
You're Harry freakin' Potter!
I wouldn't wince at all
You're invincible
From all harm

Like Betty Crocker

[JAIME & STARKIDS]
Oooh!

[JAIME]
I wanna eat you up
No one'll beat you up
With that charm

Remember, Harry, kid
You're the boss
You're the king
You're the bomb!

[DYLAN, spoken]
Alright!

(sung)
Oh, this is all so sad
I mean, my Mom and Dad
Were killed, long ago

[STARKIDS]
Long ago they died!

[DYLAN]
I wanna be psyched
But being unliked
Is all I know

[STARKIDS]
All he knows, that's why...

[DYLAN]
I never thought I'd be
A part of such a fate
An opportunity
Eleven years late

I guess it's time for me
To step up to the plate
And show 'em that
I'm something great!

(spoken)
'Sup, New York City?

(sung)
I'm Harry freakin' Potter!
I'll do what I can
If what you say I am
Is true

I can't be bothered
By my awful past
I've found at last
Something I can do
So it's time I knew
Just exactly who I am

I'm Harry freakin' Potter!

[STARKIDS]
You're Harry Freakin' Potter!

[ALL]
I'm/You're Harry freakin' Potter

[DYLAN]
And I'm the man!

[ALL, spoken]
Harry freakin' Potter!

[Segue]

[JOEY, spoken]
Alright!

{DYLAN, spoken]
Thank you!