Halloween Costume Contest

Now there's a party down at Craig's house tonight
Are you going?
It's gonna be a who's who of costumes a-showing
Everybody's dressed like witches and ghosts-es
I know I'll put a nasty-ass bitch in hypnosis

'Cause republican girls, they like to get all wet
My Ronald Reagan mask's on when I hit the set
This party's always got the best costumes around
I think I even heard Kevin Costner's in town

[Chorus]
It's a nasty competition and that ain't no lie
Because the tip of my dick straight ripped through the fly (fly)
Of my jeans and now I'm strutting
I got a g-g-g-get-up that's second to nothing
It's a nasty competition and that ain't no front
I'm gonna smoke the competition like the end of a blunt
And I wanted to be sure
That my Halloween mask was the spook du jour

This Halloween I was thinking that I'd maybe
Go dressed like Larry David
If I could find the right glasses then I would
Look pretty, pretty, pretty good

But if not, I guess I'll have to wear my scream mask
It's guaranteed to make a nasty girl cream fast
Let's turn the radio to coast-to-coast
I'll put my dick down deep and make you moan like a ghost

I knew that if I had a chance to win this
Then I'd have to hit the scene with a crazy grand entrance
You think that you're dreaming and you ask me to pinch you
When I roll to the party in my Nissan Sentra

My Halloween costume is way too frightening
I jump out of a bush and I shock you like lightning
And now my boxers are tightening
When my dick pops through
They'll give your teeth a little whitening

[Chorus]

Now back at the party I was walking around
Looking for my girl 'cause she can't be found
Just a minute ago, she was chilling by my side
She probably wants to play a game of seek-and-hide

So I walked in this room and I forgot to knock
When I opened up the door they forgot to lock
She was laying on the bed with nothing but her socks
Looking drunk with her mouth full of Courtney Cox

I took a step back, couldn't believe my eyes
She was under the cover like FBI
When she told me that she loved me
She was feeding me lies
Like at Wendy's last week
When she was feeding me fries

My fries weren't dipped in ketchup, they were dipped in deceit
Little did I know she was sneaking under the sheets
So I walked out the door and said "forget that hoe"
Ain't a hand of candy corn can pick me up from my low

[Chorus]

This Halloween party, man, it just won't quit
I put a joint to my mouth and I take a hit
Smoke that shit to the tip and almost got my hand burned
But now I'm lit like a jack-o-lantern

The snack table's choc-full of cookies and chips
Tina zip your skirt fool, I see your lips
There's enough to go around, ain't no need to push
Why you rushing through the line like you Reggie Bush

[Chorus]

And then this girl pops up out of nowhere
Telling me she wants me to go there
I said "Where?" She said "Where you think?"
I said "In your pussy?" She said 'In my stink'

My dick is really soft because I'm here on business
No sex tonight, kid, I'm here to win this
This competition comes only once a year
And I'm gonna miss the judging if I stay right here

She's rubbing on my crotch trying to feel my D
I can't believe the next thing that she said, y'see
She said, "You better wear a rubber if you're gonna sex me
Because I've got more viruses than Windows XP
Except I'm way less stable
Two beers plus me equals bent over the table"
She said, "My pussy is haunted"
So I ripped off her drawers and I got what I wanted

[Chorus]