Friends

I wonder what my friends think about me
Or if they think about me
I worry too damn much about the people that surround me
And how my voice is sounding
I apologize for being so damn loud and less inviting
Wish that I ain't see the world as cold and dark so I could help you
But in the end it doesn't matter, everyone's intentions see through
I don't know how long you'll stay around
I don't know if you could see through
Maybe I'll be leaving first, avoid rejection like I'm used to

I apologize for all the times, my mood has got the best of me
I apologize for starting shit then end it 'cause I'm festering
My room is such a quiet place, the silence fucking screams at me
Don't expect you to forgive me, I just want to leave this peacefully
I know I'm fucking fuck up, bitch I'm used to it
My acid spit, it spreads
Won't be surprised if parents asked for rent
I'm a bum and I admit it, chasing dreams and I refuse to sit
Opposed to calming down, the pain it helps me to sleep
I'm chewing threats

I wonder what my friends think about me
Or if they think about me
I worry too damn much about the people that surround me
And how my voice is sounding
I apologize for being so damn loud and less inviting
And now I know why people leave and never come back
My personality is fucking sharp, sitting on thumbtacks
I push my friends away and then I'm screamin' at them ''come back''
Say ''I need to be alone'' I don't believe that, need my life back

Wonder if I left today
Who would be sad and who would write back?
Who is listening to lyrics that I write and fucking reacts?
Who is worried for my mental as I always am for yours?
Who would back me up or come and visit without it being chores?