Eighteen (Checks Remix)

[Intro]
Eighteen, I dont fucking want it
Its a mystery how i made it this far and kept my stomach
Feel disgusted guess im used to all the shit that piles daily
Grown immunity to such because dont nobody try to save me
And that crazy
All i do is try to help out
Whether tryna make you smile or im blowing out your self doubt
But no one does the same for me, treat me like a nuisance
Then you wonder why its paining me to speak

[Verse]
Ive been paranoid all fucking week
Like all the pressure in the world
Dragging me down pulling by feet
My legs are weak
Panicking panicking
Hide away with that laugh again
Start the phone call
And put on a happy face dont get mad again
Why the fuck do this keep happening?
Stuttering im shaken up, my vision starts to blacken
Imagining shadow figures moving past my fucking eyes again
Wonder why im sane, when all this shit is fucking maddening
Eighteen, I dont fucking want it
As a kid you always wish that you were grown until youve done it
And i dont even recognize myself, forgot the way i used to be
And now that time is out my hands, a victim to the tv screen
I really do not fucking want it
Saying i should be so proud of me, I got through all this rubbish
But i ain't, never give myself a fucking break
Im waking up to all the torture that bring to my own brain
And all the years of being
Put down, shot off, and fucking stepped on
Culminating can't believe i let my fucking self down
Spite me for no reason, i'm still feeling like its my fault
Still ain't face my demons, they ain't answering the phone call
Then i get angry when i can't explain it
Thoughts are getting jumbled
As i try to speak, im too impatient
Hate the waiting
Time it moves so fast these days, i keep complaining
Always changing, maybe things will lighten up if i keep patient

[Outro]
Eighteen, I dont fucking want it
I dont fucking want it