Father Friendly

[Intro]
Dear Father
Forgive me
It's been three minutes since my last erection

[Chorus]
Make it hard
Make it hard
Make it hard
So hard

[Verse 1]
Hats off to the Catholic Church (To the Catholic Church)
Hats off to Mary and Jesus
Thanks for the guilt you gave me (The guilt you gave me)
My conscience still enslaves me

[Refrain]
If beatin' off's a mortal sin
Then God, what a mess I'm in
Hats off to the nun
Who beat up my best friend

[Verse 2]
Hats off to Father Friendly (To Father Friendly)
He's got those hands so manly
He touched me in a special (Special)
So special (Special)
So special

[Refrain]
Father friendly's making plans
But God, I hope they don't include his hands
Hats off to the nun who beat up my best friend

[Chorus]
Make it hard
Make it hard

[Interlude]

[Verse 3]
Hats off to corporal punishment
Hats off to the nun with the man hands
Thanks for the scar on my brother's neck
Father's tight grip choked him with sacred hands

[Refrain]
God made you the judge and jury (Judge and jury)
Brothers, sisters, don't you worry
Hats off to the nun (Hats off to my best friend)
Who beat up my best friend

[Chorus]
Make it hard
Make it hard
Make it hard
So hard

[Outro]
(Make it hard)
He touched me in a special
(So hard)
So special, so special
(Make it hard)
He touched me in a special
(So hard)
So special, so special