Deep Thoughts

Country-western evades me. The whole purpose of it is so depressing to listen to. The beat itself goes nowhere. Just:

'*nayr-nayr, nayr-nayr* My wife left me
*nayr-nayr, nayr-nayr* My house burned down
*nayr-nayr, nayr-nayr* My dog bit my dick
*nayr-nayr, nayr-nayr* Lost my job as a surveyor's assistant
*nayr-nayr, nayr-nayr* You're in a rut
*nayr-nayr, nayr-nayr*'

Boy, at least punk rock is:

'DANA-NANA-NANA-NANA
FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK-'

These guys have something to say, man! There's a point of view. There's a direction.

Smoke another one, baby. Anything y'all wanna talk about?

(audience member: 'Stratford!')

Stratford? School I went to in Houston. Stratford. I'm not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about 80 kids would pull up: (mimics car) 'STRATFORD SUCKS!' (mimics car driving away) Am I supposed to run after these guys? I'd just stand there, you know. They'd back up: (mimics car backing up) 'STRATFORD SUCKS!' (mimics car driving away) (car backing up again) 'STRATFORD SUCKS!' I'd say, 'I know. I go there, baby. You're wasting gas, man. Can I get in your car?' (mimics car driving away)

Only thing that I learned in Stratford that I use to this day is how to sleep sitting up. That's it. We all learned that in high school, didn't we? Remember this position? The best position in the world. The "deep thought position", right? And when you're suddenly awakened: 'Mr. HICKS!' 'Ahem, excuse me? I was in deep thought. I didn't understand the way you worded your question.' Got her. 'I just want to know if you're gonna sit here all day or leave with the rest of the class who left four hours ago.' 'I think I see what you're saying now. Tell you what, let me just collect the saliva off my desktop... I'm moving on to period four.'

I have not been tardy once since I've been out of high school. What happened to "tardy"? Tardy. 'You're tardy. Three tardies, you're suspended. Three suspensions, you're expelled.' I am purposely late to places now. 'Am I tardy?' 'No, you're not tardy. You're fired.' The real world bites you in the ass, man. OH!

My folks were too into school, I think. I couldn't get into it. Parents put a lot of pressure on you about school. You know? You know those things, Mork & Mindy lunchboxes, Happy Days lunchboxes? My folks got me a Face the Nation lunchbox. A little tense.