Chinese Are Clever

[Announcer]
Nice round of applause for Redd Foxx

[cheers and applause]

Thank you, thank you
Thanks a lot, good to see you
Thank you so much, folks, for being here
And thank you for being patient enough to wait
I hope you're—many are waiting
But, uh, you're gonna enjoy the show, my show
I know you enjoyed the other 'cause it's loose
And Nobody Loves a Smartass is the name of the show
You might notice, 800 million Chinese
I wanna remember how many of 'em it was since yesterday
Might be ten hundred million tonight
You know all of 'em didn't stay out
Chinese are clever
Anybody can sell that stuff in them restaurants for $3.75 and a fortune cookie is clever
Thousand percent profit
They don't give you nothin'—half a cup of rice, half a cup of tea
No sugar, no bread, and some roots, and sprouts
And a fortune cookie, with a lie in it
I only had one fortune cookie told the truth
I finished eating, open my fortune cookie, said,
"You will meet a tall, dark stranger"
I paid my check, went outside, a nigga stuck me up
Tall nigga—tall, dark nigga stranger
I said "nigga" 'cause it shouldn't bother you if you got any kind of sense at all
If you read, you'll know "nigga" don't mean nothin'—it fits everybody
It was in the dictionary, it said niggas were lazy and shiftless
So they got some white niggas too
So stop bucking yourself
You don't believe it's some white niggas, watch Hee Haw next week
Watch them niggas lay there, "You layin', Ezra?"
"I don't know, baby brother, why don't you call the dog in, see if he's wet"
That's a nigga, friend
Shit, I'm mixed, I'm mixed with a bunch of stuff
I don't care what you are, you can't hate but portions of me
Go ahead then, have some fun, Chinese have nuclear weapons
One drunken Chinese night pressing the wrong button
And all this shit's over with, so have some fun now

What you say, Chi-China?
Is that a gold tooth? (Yeah)
Don't go to Watts with that gold tooth in your mouth
One of them niggas dig a mine in your face, that's right