Carcinogen

I feel the weight of it
The full moon has risen from my decision, repentance is breeding strength from it
So I submit to the covenant, coming
Down from the newfound shine
Light of the night, covet
So shove it, I don't need outer thoughts
The darkness close by, I know why from all its lies I've fought
I got my mind on higher callings and I'm staying up
Anything below can take shots, but they ain't laying up
I love this new life of mine, I feel things come to focus
I've never felt so enlightened like in this moment
Just a taste of beyond, and yet I slowly start to crumble
For the power on display brings a great rumble, I almost stumble
Now all this weight that I've taken's like a carcinogen
Find it a struggle just to breathe out and in again
I see the light and it's hurting my eyes to take it in
I am unlike your command, I know you're stronger than me

Can you feel the weight of it all?

It's complicated how I got here unfazed and unfaded
A simple prayer led to my soul becoming confiscated
By God, I guess I'm just now ready to be taken
I've been praying for years, it felt like nothing happened
Maybe my heart wasn't ready, my confidence was lackin'
Even my holiest times cannot compare to this it's
Beauty beyond what is Earthly, it's not implicit
I'm on my knees for what feels like an eternity
And resolutions of my strife now occur to me
Maybe I'm too full of pride, inherently I'm selfish
And for my whole life I've tried to hide the cards I've dealt with
A wall of shame and agony I buried in my heart
And now it's broken down in light of all this Holy art
I see the good in me, I'll throw away the bad
The shovel I have used for digging now lays in the grass
And this carcinogen is a reminder of my past
The love that my heart demands, it will last longer than me

Can you feel the weight of it all?

So while you're here I hope I can answer your questions
You've been shorthanded left and right but my truth is ambidextrous
It's no secret I preach unity, it's all inside my message
Your confessions, they're meaningful so let this be your lesson
We are one in my Son and hatred's a gate for misperception
But the dark isn't me, rather it's the lack of
People turn on my word and wonder why I back off
If you don't choose me, tell me why I'd be in your life
I will discipline my children but you have to think twice
And those who choose the black hole forever make up their minds
I'm a loving father, who won't leave children behind
Those who follow me as such are given purpose and fulfillment
Cause my plan for them is permanent, I just need to instill it
You have purpose, you have purpose don't you forget
And you will do what is best for you, don't you think you're exempt
From my love, I even love the man on that road
He thought he was left for dead, but if he held out his hope
A true neighbor was on the way, just around the corner
My son would have arrived to bring his life peace and order
He's had it hard on this planet, he would thrive in my Heaven
Where the fruits are the purest and the bread is unleavened
But he chose impatience, took his life in his hands
And now his memory is all but left to wind in the sand
It takes a lot to know a person but I know he had hope
Just gave it up on impulse and became spiritually broke
The lesson I'm here to teach you while you're here in my presence
Is that the answers can be tough to swallow but they're embedded
Inside my truth, and for that you can't take them for granted
Life's a maze and it can take my wisdom to understand it
There's a lot you still don't know, but in time you will learn
And you can stay inside my light as I leave you with these words
Love your children love your brothers, make sure that they don't stumble
Always put my glory first and don't forget to be humble
I love you

Can you feel the weight of it all?