Burning Issues

Too weird, man. Think the world's falling apart out there. Do you feel that way?
Do you watch this shit? Did you watch the flag-burning thing? Wasn't that great? Boy, everyone showed their true colors then, didn't they?
Retarded nation that we are. Scary. People just... people acted as though the Supreme Court approved of flag burning, you know what I mean?
"Does that mean we have to burn our flags? What did that... They say we had to--"
NO, NO, NO!!
That's not what they said.
They said that, perhaps, if somebody wants to burn a flag, he perhaps doesn't need to go to jail for a year. Pretty harsh on their part, huh?
"Does that mean we have to burn them? But they said, they said," they didn't say that! They didn't say that!
They didn't say that!
"DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE TO GO OUT AND..."
No, no, no, no, NO!!
Listen! Read! Think! Calm down! Relax! Shut the fuck up!
"Well, I don't get it, I don't wanna burn my flag!"
THEN DOOOOOOOOON'T!!!

People snapped over this! Did you watch that?
They were just, "Hey, buddy lemme tell you somethin'. My daddy died for that flag!"
"Jesus, really? Wow, I bought mine. Ha ha!
Yeah, they sell 'em, you know, at K-Mart and shit."
"Yeah, he died in the Korean War for that flag."
"Oh, what a coincidence! Mine was made in Korea!
Wow, the world is THAT big!"

No one, and I repeat, NO ONE HAS EVER DIED FOR A FLAG. A flag is a piece of cloth. They might have died for freedom, which, by the way, is the freedom also to... burn... the fuckin' flag.
See? Burning the flag doesn't make freedom go away, it's kinda, like... freedom.

And also, this case... they've had four of these in the country's 200-year history, so... don't think it's that big or scary of an issue, do ya? One of the hotter smokescreens these people have put down the pipe for us here.
Rampant flag-burning! Heeeuuuggghhhhhh.
I tell you, the only way-- and I don't approve of flag-burning! I don't wanna burn a flag, but if somebody wants to burn a flag, what business is it of mine?
Is it my business if someone wants to burn a flag? Is it?
No, no it's not.
Is it my business what other people read or watch on TV?
No, it's not!
THANK YOU!
You see, when you talk these things out, they become a little clearer, don't they? They do. That's called logic and it'll help us all evolve and get on the fuckin' spaceships and GET OUTTA HERE!
Let's go!

And the abortion thing, you know... unbelievable.
I'm not a girl, you know, I'm a guy, but at the same time, I'll tell you how you can solve this abortion thing right now.
Those unwanted babies that women leave in alleys and in dumpsters?
Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
This is over. Like that.
"You guys said we have to have 'em? Well then, you guys FUCKIN' RAISE THEM!
Raise 'em, then! You fuckin' raise them! YOU raise them! You say I had to have it, then it's yours, fuck! It's yours! TAKE IT!"