Bring Your Girlfriend To Rap Day

[Verse 1: Jesse Dangerously]
I like the politics and style of the Black Panthers
And all the chicks that smile like tap dancers
That's damn sure
I like hats and have standards for raps
I can't pander to the wack or handle cat dander
Insincere half-apologies are crummy
You can’t cure cancer, 'cause astrology's for dummies
All up in the tummy is food from fresh recipes
And dude, forget checkers, it's Super NES Jeopardy
Forever like solidarity
It's all hilarity and hijinks
Combined with charity and kindness
I miss timeless rap from early nineties
But I like this rhyming with a fly girl beside me (unh!)
We gonna get so much done
Never put me on the list with no plus-one
We come so fresh, and on time? Oh, yes
I rock a Fossil watch, and not a Rolex

[Verse 2: Audra Williams]
It's the best if the test is in jest when I know less
I like Blistex, T-Rex, sex, and Solex
I once got hexed by an ex into train wrecks
With some poor kid’s glove in a fire and some paint flecks
And I’ve never done drugs, so it’s way too weird
When I come down easy like Jason Pierce
Think I can rap, probably just talking
Think I can tap, probably just walking

[Verse 3: Jesse Dangerously]
We never seen you more than once in the club, like Bill Rawles
I'm not Lars, but you’ll see me around town with a real doll
Oh hey, speaking of Lars, he's a homie of mine
And I don't see why you won't rewind our song about Naomi Klein
Me and my friends blow the minds of youths in the pursuit of props
“You ever shoot a cop?”
No, but I shoplifted at Futureshop
“Super hot!”
Aww shucks, it wasn't nothing
I'm blushing, dumb shit seems cool all of a sudden

[Chorus: Both]
Halifax (Bilby Street)
To Ottawa (Sandy Hill)
To Edmonton (Eightieth)
To Ottawa (Anderson)
We roam

[Jesse Dangerously]
I get dough in the quadrillions
And when I want the people to know, I call Audra Williams
You’re coming weak with the flows, I’m not feeling them

[Audra Williams]
Tap dancers have real hot hips and bums
Jazz standards have all got bits I hum

[Jesse Dangerously]
We can only diss wack crap that has holiness

[Audra Williams]
Or superstitious claptrap

[Both]
East to west, true, it never felt that far
Home is just where your two imbecile cats are

[Verse 4: Audra Williams]
I spent my school years tryin’ to wear no bra
Crying a pool of tears to The Lion and the Cobra
I'm a fan of Love and Rockets, the comic and the band
And a hand shoved in my pocket if some hotness is the plan
If I say I love the President, I mean Bartlet on TV
And when I ask “What would Buffy do?”
I’m thinking Sainte-Marie
You want to do something but don’t know how?
Sure, I’ll help you gladly
Because if a thing’s worth doing, then it’s worth doing badly
When I know what to say, I don’t have to explain
Like your blood knows the way from your heart to your brain
Jesse D and I are aces when our faces hurt from smiles
Spending hours in the grocery store, rolling in the aisles
And apologies are all we need to help bail out the boat when we get that sinking feeling
Because true affection floats

[Jesse Dangerously]
For us both

[Audra Williams]
It's one big thing to be together

[Jesse Dangerously]
And I quote

[Audra Williams]
Sun and spring and green forever