Halifax Rap Legend

Step with bass like Ron Carter
That's a non-starter
Even if there's more of you than avant-garders in Montmartre
Rolling with Joan of Arc or
Napoleon Bonaparte
You could still get blown apart
Homie, and thrown to sharks
Glow-in-the-dark stars don't hardly impress astronomers;
No-one in parked cars can party unless they're honking first
Um, anyway, that's why I rap fast, usually
So you can be still impressed when I come half-assed or foolishly
Still, fourteen syllables and it wasn't about car wheels!
Hey, I'm friends with Hope Larson: a dope person and a Tarheel!
I got rapping to a science, I've been practising for so long
I've got more rhymes in four lines than most rappers in a whole song they got written
And that's an achievement you kittens and cats can believe in
So at the end of the show when you go, you wish you didn't have to be leaving
And actually, even things I don't say but let you know implicitly are so exquisitely expressed that if you could
You'd go and visit me in Halifax
HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (Whether you like it or not, I'm a)
HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (No matter what anyone says, I'm a)
HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (Even if no-one heard of me, I'm a)
HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (Yeah, y'all!)

Your crew's overrated;
You've been resting on your laurels
I serve nuts like you like I worked at a restaurant for squirrels!
Yeah, that joke could have been cruder
But I guess I want the world to look upon me fondly
Even when I press up on their girls
I know you're thinking, “What's with the macho shit, Jesse D? You're more like the opposite!”
Yes indeed, but I uh thought it was... funny?
Well, um, droll, and I'll exercise self-control when I damn well feel like it, or when hell runs cold - whichever comes first
Never said a dumb verse in my life!
Well, alright, but I could have done worse
I'm as good of a person as any you know, and I sped up the flow when it should have been slow
Psyche, just kidding! Thought about doing that, but I didn't
I thought that it would make me look bad, kinda like plagiarism
Save your derision – derivative works are a major tradition in rap
Even though today they could take you to prison for that
So if anyone asks, I made all the rhythms from scratch and you can wink after
They'll never catch me, I'm a gem and not a crook like the pink panther and also a
HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (Whether you like it or not, I'm a)
HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (No matter what anyone says, I'm a)
HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (Even if no-one heard of me, I'm a)
HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (Who moved to Ottawa from Edmonton)

Now, don't you never tell no-one that I told you
But there's no such thing as acting like you know too much
No-one owes that thing you do a fair shake or a good review
So don't get mad at what I am because you think it should be you
I extend beyond me and take full court advantage
Just to be remembered fondly like the pulled pork sandwich at Blue Moon down on Gottingen, or North End Diner breakfasts
My bravado is more than kind of reckless, nevertheless it's the
HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (In Ottawa, I be the)
HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (In Edmonton, I was the)
HALIFAX RAP LEGEND (When I'm down in the States, I be the)
HALIFAX RAP LEGEND

You don't know! I could be!
I mean you can't prove I'm not
I could be a Halifax rap legend
I have friends who think I’m a Halifax rap legend
They tell their friends, that’s all it takes, man
Rap legend for real