“Bring Me The Child” is an improvised spoken-word skit that was recorded during the Scumdogs studio sessions. It consists of Oderus Urungus (Dave Brockie) and Beefcake The Mighty (Michael Bishop) finding a human infant and attempting to molest it. Notably, Brockie and Bishop break character several...
[Spoken by Dave/Oderus & Mike/Beefcake]
Did you get the [?], is that right? Is it good?
[?] Chip Jones, he loaned it to me
We ready?
Come here! Look. Look, a human child
Oh, she's beautiful!
Small, delicate
Ah, she's beautiful!
[?] Lay her, lay her upon the altar
Do her!
Look at that tiny velvet budding nub of a child's young reproductive gland
We mean you no harm, we mean you no harm. Just lay, just lay here quietly, qui-I said quietly!
Quiet!
I said quiet! You be quiet!
What's happening?!
Don't you know?
My god!
Don't you know?
Oh my god!
I love you!
She's expanding!
It's getting bigger!
What's happening to her?!
Oh my god, it's start-!
[?]
Somebody hurting-ahh!
[Overlapping yelling]
Oh my god!
It's a horrible...cacophany
Ah yes
Cacophany
It's so loud
Jesus, it's inside of me, what is it? Turgid
Purple
Swollen
Swollen, swollen
Marbled
Swollen wound
Shut up, cow!
Unto Knobby, unto Knobby limp
Come to Knobby
[Baby talking]
No no!
Drink it, drink it, that's good
[Yelping to mimic the Psycho shower music]
That's nice, that's nice
That's nice
That's nice
[?] [Being reborn?]
That's nice
Oh
Hey!
Child
Hey!
Child
Hey!
The child
Hey!
He loves you, he doesn't know how to love. He doesn't know how to love. He loves you, he just doesn't know how to love
I don't know how to love
This is, this is how adults love. This is how grown ups love. This is how gods love. This is how immortal, immortal love
[Oderus babbling]
A lot of doors opening, many doors open. Many doors open and you walk through them. Oh, it's so heavy. Listen to them, what is that noise? What is that sound? Listen to that sound, oh god. Many doors are opening. Oh, oh oh, the doors are, oh Jesus
She's deflated, oh oh, defiled, defiled, it's okay
Oderus, Oderus, Oderus, Oderus
Yes Beefcake?
I love you
I love you too, [?] as a gift of my love
Oh, Knobby? Knobby?
Gaze upon it, you see it grown out, pendulous, [?]
Can I touch it? I'm going to touch it, Oderus
Purple, turgid head
I-I'm touching-
I want you now to, to undo your armored suit
My harness
And take out your-
It's out
I see
Here it is, it's turgid. Is it, is it good?
Let us touch them together
Bring the child, the child, the child
Bring the child, place the child's head inside of your penis
The child's head is in my penis
Now the child's feet are in my penis
Bring me the frozen shit!
Waffle pie
[Both scream]
[?] has been completed! [?] It's crying now. That was terrible, that was terr- I didn't really barely cum at all, oh man. Light up, somebody
I guess it's uh, I guess it's tempting, but
We're fine, not now. We're not done, now the fun- now the real fun begins
What do you think about this so far? Is this a joke or what?
Bring Me The Child was written by Michael Bishop (GWAR) & Dave Brockie.