Boris Johnson vs. The Penguin

[Intro: Boris Johnson & The Penguin]
And if you elect me as Gotham's new mayor—
What?
I'll make sure that I get rid of that rapscallion—
No!
Bloody bat—
No, elect me as your mayor, and I'll get rid of that bat—
Uh, no no no, hold the ratio

[Verse 1: Boris Johnson (Dan Bull)]
I'm Boris Johnson, superbious
Hurting this vermin, or as some nutters refer to him (Yes)
The 'King of Gotham' (Gotham?)
He may as well just be the mayor of Birmingham (No)
You're a virgin, uh
I've been Cumming more than Dominic lately
Ask about my kids and I couldn't name them
Conservative, but I'm putting these women through labour (Ha-ha)
You turned to a life of art fraud (Uh)
But you are as tasteless as cardboard (Ah)
I'll turn this penguin black and blue
Likе I did to the passport
P.U.!
Lookin' like Harvey Wеinstein in a creased suit
They must've voted for Pexit
The way that they leave you out of the DC... EU
Here are some measures to abide with
Stand ten feet away and never anywhere beside me
Implementing them not for the virus
But because you reek like a peasant with no hygiene
You're the worst role Danny DeVito has ever been assigned to
Since the president of Ireland
Uh, I can't remember the next line
Uh, you resemble Peppa Pig, kind of

[Verse 2: The Penguin (littleflecks)]
Before the gentleman of crime begins
I'll give this spineless prick
A chance to hide inside a fridge
I do what's required to win
This awfully hot Cobblepot
Has fought a lot of dumb fellas
Let me demonstrate how to properly
Open a verse and umbrella
Here's how we make things well fair
Strip you of possessions and put you on welfare
Stop reducing the funding for healthcare
And make cuts to your Big Bird bed hair
Is this matchup meant to offend me?
You put this criminal menace, mad cynical mayor
The villain they credit with millions of deaths and pending
Against The Penguin?
Not even I would buy your lies
So here's some advice that you might prefer
Next time you put the nation second
Put an r-e-s-i-and-g first
He didn't climb or work
There's not a dime in his life that he earned
I was inspired by the flightless bird on a pack of cigs
And then since I've smoked all who defy my word
Flightless, no, that ain't quite right
'Cause I'm so fly from the tux to the bow tie
Hold tight, BoJoker
I know clowns even better than I know cold ice
Flows tight and I'm bloody controlling the mic
This puppet can't hold up his spine, and let alone fight me
Cobblepot is topping your pompous elitist party
Have them all chanting 'Next rhyme, please'

[Verse 3: Boris Johnson]
Don't bring those great supine
Protoplasmic invertebrate
Jelly rhyme schemes
To the fucking mayor of London's grime scene (Shut up!)
As a tubby gross kid, you were bloody roasted
For looking like Kingpin with scoliosis
Got a beak big like Michael Gove's cheeks
One runny nose and we'll suffocate in bogies (Ugh)
Your raps were dopey and slow
Penguin bars are supposed to have jokes (Ha-ha-ha)
You can steal all this fancy stuff
But you can't collect your daddy's love

[Verse 4: The Penguin]
Silence, those lies are enough
Did you read those lines off a bus?
If you'd like another business meeting
My iceberg lounge satisfies any crook
Squeal to the feds, then I'll break your damn wrists
You're closer to pigs than David Cameron is
Spent four bars insulting my likeness
That's twice now you've been hung up on a line, huh?
You're slick to trick your citizens to thinking you're some ditzy idiot
To be forgiven quick for any sinister shit you commit
Like "he's a bit of a dick, though not inherently nasty"
Two-Faced but not a Dent on Harvey
Send off alarms with all your um and ahing
Maybe you could finish a sentence in Arkham
You were choking since the first round
So ask Handcock for a mouth-to-mouth

[Outro: Boris Johnson & The Penguin]
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Not your job! Heh heh heh heh...
Oh