Beelzebozo

I am available for children's parties, by the way.

I know some of y'all might have a youngin' coming of age and not want to go the traditional clown-balloon animal route this year might wanna look me up: Beelzebozo - Clown from Hell.

"Hi, kids, it's Beelzebozo time!
Tell me somethin', who here outta you youngins has never smoked a cigarette? C'mere, kids!
What's yer name?"
"Tommy."
"Tommy? How old are ya?"
"...five."
"Five years old? And you mean to tell Beelzebozo you're not smokin' cigarettes yet?
C'mere, Tommy!"
[quick puffs, long hacking cough]
"Hold it in!"
[quick puffs]
"Mommy!"
"Nope! [singing] It's Beelzebozo time...
Tell me somethin', who here outta you youngins has never watched a skin flick? C'mere, kids!"
[imitates a film projector whirring]
"See them? Them's titties! Huh hah!"
"Mommy!"
"That IS yer mommy! C'mon!
[singing] It's Beelzebozo time..."
Clown from hell!