Bantam Cock

It was a grand upstanding bantam cock
So brisk and stiff and spry
With springy step and jaunty plume
And a purposeful look in his eye
In his little black blinking eye, he had

I took him to the coop and introduced him
To my seventeen wide-eyed hens
He tupped and he tupped as a hero tups
And he bowed from the waist to them all, and then
He upped and he tupped 'em all again, he did

And then upon the peace of me ducks and me geese
He rudely did intrude
With glazed eyes and open mouths
They bore it all with fortitude
And a little bit of gratitude, they did

He jumped my giggling guinea fowl
And forced his attentions upon
My twenty hysterical turkeys and
A visiting migrant swan
But the bantam thundered on, he did

He ravished my fan-tailed pigeons and
Me lily-white columbines
And while I was locking up the budgerigar
He jumped my parrot from behind;
She was sitting on me shoulder at the time

And all of a sudden with a gasp and a gulp
He clapped his hands to his head
Fell flat on his back with his toes in the air
My bantam cock lay dead
And the vultures circled overhead, they did

What a champion brute; what a noble cock;
What a way to live and to die
I was diggin' him a grave to save his bones
From the hungry buzzards in the sky
When the bantam opened up a sly little eye

He gave me a grin and a terrible wink
The way that rapists do
He said, 'You see them big daft buggers up there?
They'll be down in a minute or two;
They'll be down in a minute or two.'