Ballad of the Budgie

[Verse]
I saw you, in a pet shop, buy a budgie
And I know it sounds absurd
But the way you held the cage the bird was in
I knew right there and then I loved you
So I followed you back home
And I saw you lived all on your own

So when next you went out, I snuck in your house
And secreted a number of cameras
Tiny little things, so hard to see
Aren't they inscrutable visually speaking

All of the cameras had microphones
To catch every word that you utter
I didn't put one in the bathroom, though, dear
I'm not a bloody nutter

[Chorus]
I'm just a man who's found a woman to adore
And I'm going to be your stalker еvermore

[Verse]
You came homе later that evening
I watched you on my TV screen
You removed your hat and coat
Took the scarf from round your beautiful throat

You laid out a package upon the kitchen table
And from that you took a knife
And I've not seen as vicious a blade in my life

Till you opened the package again and then
You carefully took out another
If the first knife you had was the son of the family
Then this one was surely the mother of all things sharp

Pointy at one end with two jagged edges
And spikes coming out of the handle
That's when you turned all the lights off
And lit up the big fat black candles

[Chorus]
And your face took on the sudden mask of rage
And you turned around to face the budgie cage

[Verse]
You rose to your feet with a knife in each hand
And approaching the twittering bird
You started to speak, but despite my equipment
I still couldn't make out a word you were on about

It sounded like Latin and later the cat in
Those "Tweety Pie" films that we knew
Then you did things to the budgie
That a cat would never do

[Bridge]
And I watched
I watched

[Chorus]
And so though I'm sure you've had this said to you before
I don't want to be your stalker anymore
Yes, I'm sure you've had this said to you before
I don't want to be your stalker anymore
I don't want to be your stalker anymore