Baby Got Brak

(spoken intro)
Stage Manager: Space Ghost, 15 seconds til showtime…
B: Boy, oh, boy! Time for my big rap song!
SG: How do I look, Zorak?
Z: Oh my gosh, Space Ghost! Look at your butt!
SG: Huh?
Z: It is so big! You look like one of those research guy's girlfriends!
SG: Oh, knock it off!
Z: But, y'know, who understands those research guys? They only talk to you because you have all the processed food, okay?
SG: You want a piece of me?
Z: No, not today, thank you
B: Hey! This is supposed to be my song!
Z: Did you hear something, Space Ghost?
B: Hey!
SG: No
B: Hey! HEY!!
Z: As I was saying, Space Ghost, your butt is just so big!
B: Listen to me!!!
Z: I can't believe, it's just so round, it's likе, out there!
B: Nobody pays any attention to mе! AAAH!!!
Z: I mean, gross!
B: NOT FUNNY!!! AAAH!!!
Z: Hey Space Ghost, where's… …Brak?!

(verse 1: Space Ghost)
I am Space Ghost, and I cannot lie
You super villains can't deny
That when a guy walks in with his mighty power bands
You will freeze, put up your hands
And succumb… to the ways of good
Like your Mama told you you should
Recently, I'm moonlighting
In the talk show wars I'm fighting
Oh, Banjo! I just interviewed a
Judy Tenuta
I think she enjoyed her visit
Until Brak started yelling, ( B: ) "What time is it?!"
Hey, I think I'll flex
And show off my powerful pecs
A real Ree-kay Suave-Oh
More moves than Johnny Bravo. ( Johnny Bravo: ) Whoa mama!
Tights, white and milky
Cape, smooth and silky
Like felt. I'm svelte
And I sport an Inviso-Belt
I'm tired of all the hosts
Fighting over who's the most
Sure the average guy's got a handsome face
But can he fly through space?
So, Zorak! ( Z: ) "What?" Zorak! ( Z: ) "What?"
Will you play me to the desk? ( Z: ) "Yeah, right!"
Then play it! ( Z: ) "Play it!" Play it! ( Z: ) "Lard butt!"
Cuz I beat all the rest!
Baby's got Brak!

(scat trio featuring Brak)
( B: ) Hello, my name is Brak, from Cartoon Planet!…
SG: Baby's got Brak!
( B: ) Hello, my name is Brak, from Cartoon Planet!…
( B: ) Hello, my name is Brak, from Cartoon Planet!…

(verse 2: Zorak)
I am Zorak!
The man-… -tis who'll attack
The big fat stupid boob that's known as
Space Ghost! I'll fry 'em up like french toast!
Unless his power bands
Go (*zap!) DANISH! (*zap!) (*boom!)
I ain't talkin about BirdMan
I'm talkin 'bout the two ton pile of Spam!
My music's real slick and bluesy
I'll rock your snoozy planet
All the rest can can it
Black Widow, Metallus and Tansit
Now Lokar's at it again. ( Lokar: ) Arachnid!
Bookworm locust isn't my fan
You can have that bug, man
I'll keep on rulin like Klugman!
A helpful hint, go cower-under my power-uh
Cuz I mught devour ya!
I hit Brak with a rake, til I make him cry…
( B: ) "WAAH!" …til the break of dawn!
Zorak's got it goin on!
Space Cheese is a giant yawn
All he does is pine and whine
But I'd rather rock and mock
Cuz I'm mean, and I'm green
And I sing better than Ben Vereen!
So, Brak! ( B: ) "What?" Brak! ( B: ) "What?"
Do you wanna fix me a snack? ( B: ) "Okay!"
Then pass the pork saurkraut
Even Moltar's got to shout!
( Moltar: ) "Baby's got Brak!"

(spoken)
Brak: Yeah, buddy… When it comes to females…
The cosmos ain't got nothin to do with my peaches and herbs…
36 - 20 - 40 in my big 'ol pick up- What was I talkin about?

(verse 3: Brak)
So ya heard of my days of glory
And you wanna know what's my story
Well this ain't exactly Dexter's Labratory
My hunky-dorey
Brains turned to putty, so I
Went nutty, buddy!
Thay pihranamite radiation
HALF LOBOTOMIZED ME!!!
Some villains wanna conquer everything
But me, I wanna dance and sing!
I get down, and funky
But, HEY, I am not a monkey!
At school I didn't pass
I brought a TV to class
The teacher caught me watchin 'Cow and Chicken'
So he gave me a spankin
Gonna cook you up a plate of beans
And some torta-weenies!
Now what's the matter, you wanna get fatter?
Just try my 'pu pu pu platter!'
Even though I'm dumber than drool
I'm still a crazy lovesick fool
Hey ladies, how are ya doin?
I feel like Hoodlee-Hooin!
So if you want Brak to come down
And visit you in your town
Contact Ghost Planet Industries
( Brak with Zorak and Moltar: ) "AND MAKE THEM SET US FREE!!!"
Baby, I'm Brak!

(spoken and sang outro)
Z: Gabba gabba hey gabba click click click!
SG: Those aren't the words!
Z: Then you try it!
SG: Gotta doodle in my noodle, and his name's Minky Boodle!
Z: Minky Boodle!
B: Minky Boodle!
Z: Minky Boodle!
SG: Beautiful!
B: So be really good with all of your might!
SG: Evil villains, stand down from the funk!
B: Cuz Santy Claus is coming tonight!
Z: What does that have to do with anything?
B: I like Santy Claus!