Audience Participation

FZ: All right, this is it, this is audience participation time. For the last couple of nights we've actually gone so far into the realms of bad taste as to bring living members of the audience onto our stage to attempt to dance to the song we are about to play. Now, many rational individuals might feel that this is, well it's an unnecessary thing to do, I mean why should you just get tense, fidgeting, disinterested, and completely arhythmic individuals onto the stage to make their bodies flop around to a song that is...you never should've danced to it in the first place. People say to themselves, "Why? Why bother? Why should anybody want to do this? What a stupid fucking thing to do!" But ladies and gentlemen, let me remind you: that is precisely why we're here: to do all the stupid fucking things you're too evolved to even consider. So I make this proposal to you. I need two very bad dancers, I mean no talent whatsoever, complete oafs, one boy oaf, and one girl oaf to come on up. Are you an oaf? Yes you are, right this way please. What's your name?

Oaf 1: Rob!

FZ: Rob? What's your last name, Rob?

Oaf 1: Lip-friend

FZ: Rob Lip-friend?

Oaf 1: Yes

FZ: All right Rob, can you dance?

Oaf 1: No

FZ: Turn around so they can see you. Like your clothes are up, you're looking good. What's this? FZ Sucks and goes home, Hey that's wonderful. Rob, you're just the kind of person we need up here. Ok, and now one matching female oaf. You're not a female oaf. What? I didn't hear you. How do I know? Ok. With an answer like that come up. What's your name?

Oaf 2: Eric Dolphy

FZ: Okay. I'm sure he's rolling over in his grave over that one. Let's pretend that we have already achieved our objective. You people decide which one is going to be the girl oaf. And now, the reason we're not going to go "hog wild" as they say in the trade, I mean the first night we had too many people up here it was so messy. Here's the rules and regulations of our dance contest and I hope you boys are paying attention to this. This song is approximately two minutes long. At the end of the song your time is up. You will voluntarily remove yourselves from the stage. During those two minutes you are free to express yourselves in any manner that you desire so long as you don't injure each other, any member of the audience, or harm any of our equipment or any members of the rocking teenage combo, is that clear? Ok, in other words for a couple of minutes it's all yours guys...and gals, maybe? The name of this song is "The Black Page No. 2," okay? One, two, three, four!