As Good as It Gets

[Intro: Noob Saiboot]
Noob Saiboot! For real! (On the track.)
For crying out loud! This is the posse cut
The beat by... How do you pronounce it? (Sepeteus!)
Overlord Sepeteus? (Yeah.)
Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah

[Verse 1: Noob Saiboot]
Name's Noob, but I ain't a noobie
Controlling the weather gets me a lot of groupies
Noob started rapping, Nas's career took a nosedive
I'm so fast I can play tennis on both sides
The mischief of Lauryn Hill was minding my dick
I think about crap when I'm minding my shit
Got many niggas in the cell you say
They gave me a hockey stick but cut it away
Got married today, nothing on but a backpack
Consider crack as a resting snack
I do, I was born on the airwaves
Bald, no need for a fucking hairspray
On stage I've never heard a boo
There's class action suits against noobs
Bitch so hot, gotta take off the sweater
Niggas is lost, I'm the German Shepherd

[Verse 2: Overlord Sepeteus]
Yo it's Sepeteus, fuck Prometheus
Where's God? Oh, he with us
Time to boss and smack broads
Write on paper, fuck laptops
I'm original, you bite like mega
I'm like PlayStation, you like Sega
You fall, I stay on top
You call a girl that I fuck
I don't like it, I come find you
My laser will fucking blind you
I'm the leader, the caretaker
You're the needer, the scared faker
My life, oh it fucking rules
My first words: fuck the rules
Wife suck dick, sister handle balls
Both of them fuckin' neanderthals

[Verse 3: Smoke Jonesy]
Smoke Jonesy, I got a story to tell
Yesterday I tossed a coin in a wishing well
I wished that my life would be happy forever
'Cause I'm like a Turtle and life's like Shredder
Constant struggle I've been facing
My money I've been misplacing
All I got is a mic and a slice of corn bread
"You a retard", my dad said
But I don't care, I guess I'm carefree
Nuts at the white, can walk barely
Can't afford a wheelchair, doesn't feel fair
I fucking beg at the motherfucking town fair
I'm still a virgin, I live in a tractor
I'm saving myself for Total Doctor
Once I heard a weird fucking noise
It was Heath and Noob feasting off my tortoise

[Verse 4: Heath]
It's Heath, I perform C-Walk in the club
My Miramax letterbomb was a fucking dud
Playing Tic-tac-toe by myself is thrilling
Exposing titties doesn't make you my wife, silly
The total lack of support made me brave
I couldn't get the patent for my different worm games
Installed Windows to a black and white TV
The motherfucker gave me a blue screen
I drop rhymes like I skip class
I deserve a spanking, deserve a whiplash
I don't waste ink neither do I think
I blame my dick for all the sins I did
Smoke tobacco, I miss my lung
There ain't a sweeter guy than Brotha Lynch Hung
Got horny watching Predator's unmasking
Running away from crackerjacks had me gasping

[Verse 5: Champagne Anderson]
It's Anderson but ain't no fucking Neo
Go to sleep in Vancouver, wake up in Rio
I built my own house, ran out of plaster
I used my own snot to finish it faster
So, I gotta call my cottage a snottage
Rumours about Arabics, all rubbish
My only hobby is drinking champagne
I still haven't finished Red Alert's Soviet campaign
I pass out during the final mission
Saving games, well, that's just fiction
Finger my own brain, guess there's a fraction
Caused by my motherfucking drunken action
Mel Gibson is a fag, Jesus had no passion
Twenty gallons, my daily booze ration
Watching Sopranos, I related to Furio
Mike fucking my boss's wife in a studio