A Funny Man Touched Me

[Intro]
Yo this is Heath and this is a story, a real story from my past
If you don't believe me go ask Liv Tyler, I gave her the munchies

[Verse 1]
Years ago, walking at the Piccadilly Circus
I had a hunch, that made me very nervous
I was brave, never ever feared
Fucking around with fish and chips when he appeared
Dressed as a clown, I was so confused
Didn't notice the tranquilizer he used
Next thing I felt, was some weird rumble
The funny man had made me really humble
Dreaming of freedom in the back of the van
I had no idea we was rolling in Amsterdam
The van had so fucking bad springs
So in curves, the shit box took some spins
Cops pulled the funny man over
But the funny man was really their boss
So he had an escort to his mansion
I masturbated just to clear some tension
The clown opened the doors
Told me he wanted to juggle with my balls
Shit was twisted and I refused
I'd rather have my neck in a tight knoose
'Cause I ain't no homosexual-a
So leave me alone you motherfucka

[Chorus]
At the Piccadilly Circus a funny man touched me
I don't mean that he fucked me
But something happened to my delicate choice
And after that I have never been poised

[Verse 2]
I gotta say, he was a gentle fella
I had luxuries being locked in the cella
It reminded me of my mothers closet
But I wanted out, Hey who doesn't?
There were other boys too, two asians
They told me the clown is going to lace ya'
Gonna dress me up like a renaissance duke
I wish I had a knife, or better if a nuke
I could escape, and destroy the whole scene
But then I heard the clown had a bad spleen
And there was some alcohol in a corner
I drank it all, my body got warmer
So when the clown came, I jumped on him
He had already been drinking
So I think the alcohol did it's job
And the clown passed out like a noob
And me and the asians had our change
But before escaping, we made a pact
That we would never tell anyone about this
So now that I pretty much told this story to you
They gonna fuck me up
Let them try I live in a armored truck

[Chorus]
At the Piccadilly Circus a funny man touched me
I don't mean that he fucked me
But something happened to my delicate choice
And after that I have never been poised