Answering

Grew up in middle class, I grew up on welfare
Weekdays with moms, weekends at foster care

And I visit my father too, at his apartment
Still remember a thing or two, I kept it in compartments

The reason that I’m writing this isn’t to start shit
I'm just jogging my memory, so don’t think I'm heartless

This is just the smartest, solution needed to process
That most of my life has been garbage

But it all started before we decided to be departed
Couldn’t think of a better way to start this

Off with, I see a lot of broken fathers
Not a lot of guidance provided
On how to handle it and no one bothers

Looking at the patterns of parents who leave
Is it the genetics or is it a thing that repeats?

Slowly started evaluating what I was told as a teen
Gradually developed a disbelief…
_______

Towards everything, wanna know some things
Questioning anything, but no one is answering, me

About anything, wanna know some things
Questioning everything, but no one is answering, me

_______

Guess it's time to open up this chapter
Back to '95, where my father still mattered

Had me every second weekend, remember laughter
Remembered a few things, but nothing that mattered

Bending over backwards, searching for answers
As to why he disappeared and never came after

That weekend two weeks before
My mother claimed he came knocking on the door

With a cast around of his arm, said he’d be gone
Didn’t know for how long, never really questioned my mom

Cuz I didn’t have a reason, not to believe anyone
Especially not a person I'm supposed to count on

Came to find out, he’s ten minutes away from
The place I'm located, and that was a strange one

Did he know about my place? I'm-
Contemplating if we ever passed each other on occasions
_______

Questioning everything, wanna know some things
Just about anything, but no one is answering, me

About everything, wanna know some things
Questioning anything, but no one is answering, me

_______

Don't even know if he listens?
Don't know a thing about him, really have no interest
Lived my life for 16 years without him in it?
So why would I need him now? It's past my limit
What he did, is the reason I have no image
With him still in the picture, wish it sounded less cynic

Wish I was less timid, but I guess that's what I get
For being upset with it, confess that I regret
A lot that I didn't, and of course I reflect
About this whole inhibit

Way of approaching anything I find different?
But I was told, once I wasn't alone with it
Like it would sooth my soul if it
Came to my knowledge how cold the world is if
We get broken down as kids and lose spirit
Most of us tend to go around incoherent

_______

Towards everything, wanna know some things
Questioning anything, but no one is answering, me

About anything, wanna know some things
Questioning everything, but no one is answering, me