911! Emergency!

[SISTER CHANTELLE (as the Virgin Mary), PETER]
(spoken)
Stop!
Fuck me, Matt, it's Diana Ross
Uh, sure enough, ain't
But now I know I got the right person

(sung)
What's that supposed to mean?

(spoken)
Listen up, Peter
I may be a virgin, but I ain't new to the game
Don't be frontin' with Mary
Holy shit
I'll pretend I didn't hear that

[KYRA & TANYA (as angels/backup singers)]
(Think it over)

[PETER]
Hail Mary, full of grace—

[SISTER CHANTELLE, spoken]
Stop, stop, stop
Do you know how tired I am of that prayer?
What do you know about 2000 years
And they still be saying the same prayer?

[KYRA & TANYA]
(Change is comin', it's comin')

[SISTER CHANTELLE, spoken, KYRA & TANYA, sung, TANYA, sung]
I have a message for you, Peter
(Listen closely)
Where'd I put—
All these pockets
Oh yeah, here it is
(Seek and he shall find)
"You will know the truth and the truth shall"—
Who writes this stuff?
(Too generic)
Never mind, I'm gonna wing it
Mary loves her puns
Yes, I do
Now, I saw what you just did
(Mary saw you)
Seems the love that dare not speak its name
Done gone ahead and spoke
(Now the secret's out)
You tell one person, that's it
Cat's out of the bag
(Will he keep it?)
There's a phone call
That is now overdue to your mother, baby
(Time to call her up)

[SISTER CHANTELLE, sung, KYRA & TANYA, sung]
(Operator)
Get him mama's line
(Operator)
Heaven knows it's time
(Operator)
Can you put him through?
Someone's got a job to do
(Operator)
Mama loves you, boy
(Operator)
You're your mama's joy
(Operator)
Get the doing done
Reach out, baby, touch someone

[SISTER CHANTELLE, KYRA & TANYA]
911! Emergency!
It's time to be a grown up
We done gone and made the call
But you need to pick the phone up
Ring your mother, tell it all
Just go ahead and own up
Stop your lying, drop the drama
Tell the world, but first tell mama
Let her know

[SISTER CHANTELLE, spoken, KYRA & TANYA, sung]
I've read the books, Peter
(Oprah picked 'em)
Sayin' "Come out when you're ready"
But don't talk about it - be about it
(Come on, come on out, boy)
'Cause life is now, sugar
(Gotta live your life)
Don't hide it under a bushel
Or whatever my baby used to say
(Jesus knows what's up)

[SISTER CHANTELLE, sung, KYRA & TANYA, sung]
(Operator)
Help a boy connect
(Operator)
Let him call collect
(Operator)
Won't you put him through?
Someone's got a job to do
(Operator)
Got the change in hand
(Operator)
Time to take a stand
(Operator)
Get the doing done
Reach out, baby, touch someone

[SISTER CHANTELLE, KYRA & TANYA]
911! Emergency!
It's time to be a grown up
We done gone and made the call
But you need to pick the phone up
Ring your mother, tell it all
Just go ahead and own up
Mop your mess up and drop the drama
Tell the world, but first tell mama

911! Emergency!
Life is full of choices
But baby, here's the 411
With truth the world rejoices
Let it out, let mama in
Boy, you need to hear our voices
Stop the secrets, drop the drama
Roll it out, but first tell mama
Let her know

[SISTER CHANTELLE, spoken, PETER, spoken, KYRA & TANYA, sung]
That's it, God bless
But what if God—
Uh-uh, no questions
This isn't "Conversations with Mary"
(It ain't that book, baby)

[SISTER CHANTELLE, spoken]
Look, you'll figure it out
And I'm on the tightest of schedules
Work, work, work, save, save, save, so many in need
But does the head of the first family lift a wing to help?
No, Joseph be tellin' me
"I let you ride the donkey all the way to Bethlehem"
Now that was 2000 years ago, okay?
I'm talkin' about what has he done for me lately?

[KYRA & TANYA, TANYA, KYRA, spoken]
(unintelligible ranting)
But it ain't the greatest story ever told
If you gonna tell it every five minutes
And she’ll still be talkin' 'bout
"Why the wise men didn't bring me nothing?"
Oh, hey, hello

[SISTER CHANTELLE, spoken]
Keep it up, just keep it up
And I know two ladies
'Bout to be touched by an angel
You got that? We out
And Peter, remember

[SISTER CHANTELLE, KYRA & TANYA]
911! Emergency!
It's time to be a grown up
We done gone and made the call
But you need to pick the phone up
Ring your mother, tell it all
Just go ahead and own up
Stop your lying, drop the drama
Tell the world, but first tell mama
Let her know