Chita Rivera & Marilyn Cooper
Larry Kert & Carol Lawrence
Eddie Roll, Grover Dale, Tony Mordente, David Winters, Hank Brunjes & West Side Story Ensemble
Ethel Merman
Zero Mostel
David Burns, Zero Mostel, Jack Gilford, & John Carradine
Stephen Sondheim
Stephen Sondheim
Lee Remick
Original Broadway Cast of Anyone Can Whistle & Angela Lansbury
Stephen Sondheim
Carol Bruce
Stan Stanley
Rosemary June
Linda Lavin
Anthony Perkins
Anthony Perkins
Charmian Carr
Anthony Perkins & Charmian Carr
Anthony Perkins & Charmian Carr
Pamela Myers
Elaine Stritch
Original Broadway Cast of Company & Dean Jones
Stephen Sondheim
New York Philharmonic Concert Cast of Follies (1985)
Elaine Stritch
Barbara Cook
Carol Burnett
Stephen Sondheim
D. Jamin Bartlett
Hermione Gingold
Glynis Johns
Stephen Sondheim
Original Broadway Cast of Pacific Overtures & Mark Syers & Mako Iwamatsu & Gedde Watanabe & James Dybas
Patrick Kinser-Lau, Timm Fujii & Mark Hsu Syers
Original Broadway Cast of Sweeney Todd & Len Cariou
Sarah Rice
Len Cariou & Angela Lansbury
Patti LuPone
Jim Walton & Ann Morrison
Original Broadway Cast of Merrily We Roll Along & Jim Walton & Ann Morrison & Lonny Price
Mandy Patinkin
Robert Westenberg & Chuck Wagner
Original Broadway Cast of Into the Woods & Bernadette Peters
George Lee Andrews, Maureen Moore & Kim Crosby
George Lee Andrews, Maureen Moore & Kim Crosby
George Lee Andrews, Maureen Moore, Kim Crosby & John Cameron Mitchell
William Parry & Terrence Mann & Greg Germann & Jonathan Hadary & Eddie Korbich & Lee Wilkof & Annie Golden & Debra Monk & Victor Garber
Patrick Cassidy, Marcus Olson, & Victor Garber
Marin Mazzie & Jere Shea
Donna Murphy
Howard McGillin & Richard Kind
Jane Powell
Nathan Lane & Roger Bart
Cy Walter & Stan Freeman
Stephen Sondheim
Jack Cassidy
Arte Johnson
1954 Backers Audition Cast of Saturday Night
Leila Martin & Jack Cassidy
Stephen Sondheim
Invitation to a March Instrumental Ensemble
Stephen Sondheim
Stephen Sondheim
Daniel Troob & Paul Gemignani
Stephen Sondheim
Stephen Sondheim
Stephen Sondheim
Ettore Stratta
Régine
Jean-Pierre Rampal & Claude Bolling
Madonna
Mel Tormé
Mandy Patinkin & Madonna
Janis Siegel, Cheryl Bentyne & Lorraine Feather
Madonna
Liza Minnelli & Billy Stritch
[MRS. LOVETT, spoken]
A customer!
(sung)
Wait! What's yer rush? What's your hurry?
You gave me such a—
Fright. I thought you was a ghost
Half a minute, can'tcher?
Sit! Sit ye down!
Sit!
All I meant is that I
Haven't seen a customer for weeks
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague—
(spoken)
Ugh!
What was that?
(sung)
But you'd think we had the plague—
From the way that people—
Keep avoiding—
(spoken)
No, you don't!
(sung)
Heaven knows I try, sir!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale—
Right you are, sir. Would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can hardly blame them—
Thеse are probably the worst piеs in London
I know why nobody cares to take them—
I should know
I make them
But good? No
The worst pies in London—
Even that's polite
The worst pies in London—
If you doubt it, take a bite
[TODD, spoken]
Ugh!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it
It's nothing but crusting—
Here drink this, you'll need it
The worst pies in London—
And no wonder with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
Never
Thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think it was a treat
Finding poor
Animals
Wot are dying in the street
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop
Does a business but I notice something weird—
Lately, all her neighbors' cats have disappeared
Have to hand it to her—
What I calls
Enterprise
Popping pussies into pies
Wouldn't do in my shop—
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick
And I'm telling you them pussy cats is quick!
No denying times is hard, sir—
Even harder than
The worst pies in London
Only lard and nothing more—
Is that just revolting?
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it's molting
And tastes like—
Well, pity
A woman alone
With limited wind
And the worst pies in London!
Ah, sir
Times is hard
Times is hard
[TODD, spoken]
Isn't that a room up there over the shop? If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out? Should bring in something.
[MRS. LOVETT, spoken]
Up there? Huh. No one will go near it. People think it's haunted. You see, years ago something happened up there. Something not very nice.
The Worst Pies in London was written by Stephen Sondheim.
The Worst Pies in London was produced by Tommy Krasker.